Skating through love

A dirty past

The rest on the night feels like a blur, a far away dream. You faintly remember being helped into a car and someone kissing you goodnight on the forehead. You wake up in an unknown though familiar room. Almost as if it had been yours in a past life but then you realize.

"It's Blake's room..."

As soon as you figure this out he comes in.

You can see right through his expression, Blake knows something he shouldn't. He sits down on a big arm chair facing you.

"Hey... Lilah, about last night..."

"I'm sorry you had to see that"

"I'm sorry I kissed him" you both blurt out at the same time.

"Fuck, he didn't know" you think "You god dam idiot! You just gave yourself away"

Regret and anxiety fills you up.

"Kiss who?" Blake asks, you keep silent. "Delilah, WHO did you kiss?"

He does his best at containing it but you can hear the anger and disappointment in his voice. It's not worth answering the question, he knows perfectly well who you kissed.

" Why are you so worried about Kaiden?" you ask in a small voice. "You weren't like this with Kai or Zack..."

He stares at the floor, deciding what to answer.

"He has a dirty past" Blake ends up saying.

"What 'cause he didn't talk for months after his girlfriend dumped him?!" you are starting to get mad at all this secrecy. "Isn't that what any decent human being would do?!"

"You don't understand... just keep away from Kaiden will you."

"What about you and Harley then? Why are you allowed to kiss someone and I am not?!"

"Lilah, you know it's not like that. I'm just trying to protect you..."

"Oh yeah, by keeping secrets from me and trying to control my life?"

You make your way towards the door.

"You either tell me what the fuck there is to know about Kaiden, or don't even mind protecting me at all!"

You storm out of the room when he calls you back.

"Lilah, wait! His girlfriend broke up with him because he did drugs... Heavy ones"

You stare at him for a second.

"Well maybe he learnt his lesson by getting his ass dumped" and you walk out the door.

You go on your phone while walking home, 13 missed calls from mum and 50 texts.

"Ah shit, Blake forgot to tell her I'd be staying the night" you think.

When you get home your mother jumps with happiness and hugs you before she starts yelling at you saying how irresponsible your attitude was and bombarding you with questions.

"Chill out, mum, I slept over at Blake's 'cause it was closer to the party. Sorry we were really tired and forgot to tell you."
You retreat to your room to think the past couple hours through. You don't really believe what Blake said he could have easily said that just to scare you off. After a while you get to the question that you have been avoiding.

"Do I like him?"

... You are confused, you feel attracted to Kaiden, but how could you like someone you don't even properly know?