The Consequence of a Dream

Ch. 3

Phoenix's pov

By 6 pm my body is in so much pain that it's taking everything in me to fight back the tears. The Tylenol is long worn off and the pain has definitely intensified because of how much I've been moving. But it always hurts worse a few hours after it happened rather than in the moment.

All I want is to take some Tylenol and lay down, but the dinner I'm being forced to have with Demi tells me it'll be a while before I do that. Especially since we haven't had the conversation Phil was pushing her to have with me x

"Do you have any food allergies?" Demi asks.

"A few." I admit.

Which is just another way my dad loves to hurt me, making me eat foods I'm allergic to. He's hidden all the food in the house before and only given me the option to eat the food I'm allergic to, or starve. When it's 3 weeks without food and your stomach is cramping and your crying in pain, you eventually cave and go for the food your allergic to.

"What are they? I definitely don't want to give you anything your allergic to." She says.

I stare down at the mashed potatoes, corn, and chicken in front of me refusing to make eye contact with her. I've never been good at eye contact but when I feel uncomfortable, it's impossible for me to make it. I'm very uncomfortable right now.

"It's fine, it's nothing you'll feed me." I dismiss.

I should trust her, I'm aware. But until you're abused for 14 years and have only learned distrust, abuse, and neglect, you don't understand how hard it is to not trust someone. Especially not someone you don't know. I don't know her intentions. I don't know her temperament. I don't know she won't yell at me. I don't know she won't hurt me. I know nothing about her. How am I supposed to know that she won't feed me something I'm allergic to on purpose? I don't.

"Well I want to be sure I don't because I might accidentally do so." She says.

"I'll let you know if you do. They are super weird food allergies, not anything restaurants put in food, you'd put in food, or anything like that." I say.

I highly doubt we'll be making homemade cupcakes and we'll have to used to colored funfetti frosting. So she really doesn't have anything to worry about. But I won't give her the upper hand with the knowledge either.

"Ok, well, we should probably talk about the concert plans Huh?" She asks.

I give a small shrug not sure what we should do. I just went to take Tylenol and lay down. That's really it.

"You will sing 7 songs as the opening act. You are our only opening act as well. The songs you sing are entirely up to you. And if 2 months in you decide you want to not sing one or two of them, tell the band they'll definitely work with you to learn 2 new songs. But I don't want it to be song after song with no speeches. It's hard for people to connect with you if all you do is sing and not really talk. The first couple shows are the hardest. But once you get comfortable you'll find it easy to talk with everyone." She says and I give a small nod.

"As for press, we do press conferences before each show usually. Although we do go to radio stations to just talk about the new music as well. You'll be with us for the radio interviews so I'll help you prepare for those. Because they can ask questions that catch you off guard. You have to prepare yourself to answer all questions and have an answer to anything they might ask. They are usually fun and respect your privacy, but there's a few who want to push you hard for a story." She says.

Again, I give a small nod.

"So let's just try a few questions. Why did you start YouTube?" She asks.

Because my dad forced me to do he could get the paycheck.

"I watched Christina Grimmie a lot when I was younger and was inspired by her. I looked up to her a lot and realized that if she could do it, then maybe I could. So I gave it a shot." I lie.

"You're homeschooled, what's that like?" Demi asks.

"I do online school and it's got a lot of pros. The biggest being flexibility. I feel like because of online school I am able to let my creativity out and work school around it. If I went to public school I wouldn't be able to have the amount of time I do to work on music, upload videos to YouTube, record videos, edit videos, and song write. It's not much different from a real public school in terms of education. I still have to learn the same curriculum, I still have to take the state test, and I still have to attend a certain amount of hours. The only difference is one is online, ones in a building." I say.

"What advice fo you have for someone wanting to start a YouTube channel?" She asks.

"Do it, anyone can do it. It's better to go for it than regret not going for it later. Sometimes you have to push yourself to do something to see the payoff later. It may seem scary and uncomfortable, but so is anything you do that you've never done before." I say.

I hear a few seconds of silence as I stare at the sweating glass of water in front of my plate. I refuse to make eye contact with her even now.

"If I didn't know better I'd think you lie so much that it's second nature. I don't think I really need to prepare you further for an interview. You seem to really think well on the sport." Demi says.

Well, when you're forced to lie everyday of your life, it does become second nature. If I didn't lie, my dad would be in jail and I'd be god knows where. Probably dead if my dad were to go to jail. There's no way he'd let my heart continue to beat if that were to happen.

"Those questions were just easy. If you were to ask harder ones, I'd choke." I say.

"What would a hard question be for you?" She asks.

Anything in relation to my dad. Anything to relation about my mom. Anything in relation to the large amount of photos I've posted and deleted over me crying from the past months.

I shrug, "Not sure. You'd have to ask it and then me get stumped for me to realize it's hard."

"Well, I'll have your back if I see you uncomfortable or unable to answer a question." She says.

"Ok."

I shift my stare to my untouched food on the plate, "You haven't eaten all day, are you still not hungry?" She asks.

It'd probably be a bad idea to mention I don't eat in front of people wouldn't it? That'd a way to make her question what I'm doing here. But yeah, I don't eat in front of people. I always bring my food to my room and eat it by myself. I never eat in front of other people. Ever. Unless it's my dad forcing me to eat foods I'm allergic to...

"Not right now." I lie.

I'm a little hungry. It's not bad. But I would eat if I could bring my food to my room. With how little food I eat daily, my stomach couldn't handle all on the plate anywhere.

"Too nervous about things?" She asks.

Sure, we can go with that.

"Yeah." I lie.

"I promise everything will be ok. But how about you go ahead and get changed and get some rest? It's been a long day and tomorrow will be longer. It'll be best for you to just get as much sleep as you can." Demi says.

Well, I definitely won't argue that.

"Yes ma'am." I say before leaving the table.

I walk to my bedroom, or the temporary bedroom. I'll only be here for a week. It's far from my bedroom. But you get the point. I walk to it and close the door behind me before kneeling down at my suitcase. I unzip it and grab the Tylenol and pour 3 pills into my hand before swallowing the pills with my spit. I then hide them in my suitcase and grab a pair of sweatpants and sweatshirt. I change into then before closing my suitcase.

I very painfully get into the bed and stare at my phone on the charger. In too much pain to reach for it, I just stare at the wall instead. There's no way I'll be able to sleep with this much pain. But the fact I'm in bed and take Tylenol is enough to satisfy me for now. It's better than sitting in a wood chair in pain.

Demi's right, tomorrow is going to be a very long day and I'm not even the slightest bit prepared.