The Consequence of a Dream

Ch. 27

Phoenix's pov

*one week later*

Everything's been a blur and I know that's more than likely because of the amount of pain medicine I've been on. All I really remember is talking to some lady and having to tell the truth in order for Demi to be able to adopt me. It was hard, really hard, but I did it. With practically no trouble at all, Demi did get custody of me as well.

"Ok sweetheart, we're here." I hear Demi say.

I tiredly lift my head from the window to see that we're at Demi's house. I unbuckle my seatbelt and reach for the door handle, "No, no, no. You're not gonna walk. Wait and I'll carry you to your room Nix."

I do as I'm told and wait for her to open the car door and pick me up. I'm honestly just so tired that I don't register much. I haven't been able to sleep the past few days and I think that's become very evident to Demi.

She holds me carefully and closes the car door and walks to the front door. She opens the door and I just hide my head in her shoulder. It's not until I'm on my bed when I see her face.

"I'm going to get out suitcases and lock the front door. I'll be right back. Just stay in your bed." She says and I nod.

She grabs the blankets at the end of the bed and puts them over my body. I guess so she doesn't have to move me once again to get me under some blankets. However she knows I'm cold. I was shivering in the car, so I guess she wants to make sure I'm comfortable with the least amount of pain she can manage

She kisses the top of my head before I watch her walk out of the room. She returns to my room with my suitcase which she just sets beside my closet. She then gets in my bed beside me and I very painfully move my head on top of her chest.

"I know you're in so much pain right now sweetheart. I wish I could take it for you so you wouldn't have to feel it." She whispers.

I let out a shaky breath as I feel my pain intensify. What I felt just a week ago is nothing compared to what I feel now. Not even the slightest. This hurts so much more. I had pain meds then, I don't right now. I don't anymore. I'm just left to deal with it all and it's a lot to deal with.

"You're such a brave little girl." She says.

I don't feel brave. I think to be brave you can't feel fear. I constantly feel fear and don't do a lot of things. I don't know why she views me as brave, or strong, or any of that. I don't feel like I am.

I feel her fingers run through my hair lightly and rub my back, "I can give you some tylenol, will that make you feel better?" She asks.

I shake my head, "It doesn't even help a little."

Tylenol can do a lot, but it certainly can't fix this. I need actual pain meds to fix this. Tylenol, Advil, none of that will even take away the pain the slightest bit.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart." She says.

"It's not your fault." I whisper.

And it's not, she's done so much for me to try and help. More than anyone's done for me. I can't blame her for this. I just can't.

"I still feel awful that you're in so much pain and I can't do anything to help you feel better. Because I hate that you're in this much pain." She says.

"It's ok." I whisper.

"I love you so much Nix."

Love is a word that's never come out of my mouth before I met Demi. I didn't know what the word even felt like. I didn't know how it felt. I didn't know what it looked like. I never could honestly say I never felt it before her. But I do love her. I love her a lot. She's showed me so much that I've never had in such a short amount of time and I just hope it never stops. I don't think it will, she's not my dad. She seems like she really cares and everything. I just hope that she doesn't get tired of me and I turn into a regret for her too. I don't want to turn into a mistake and regret for her. But I was for my dad...

"I love you too." I manage weakly.

I feel her gently stroke my cheek with her thumb, "If you need to sleep, get some sleep sweetheart." She says.

I shake my head not wanting to go to sleep. I want to stay awake and just be held. I don't want to go to sleep and have her leave me.

"You look so tired Nix." She says.

"I'm ok."

I'll be ok at least. I'm not ok now, but with time I'll heal and get better. As for my tiredness, I'll go to sleep later. It's not like I won't go to sleep at all. I will, just not right now.

"You know I'm not going to leave you don't you?" She asks.

"Mhm."

"So you know I'll start right here if you go to sleep don't you?" She asks.

"Yes." I say quietly.

"I just want to make sure." She says.

I lay in silence for a bit until sleep is too much for me to be able to take and I end up falling asleep.

Demi's pov

Seeing Phoenix asleep isn't a relieving sight. I know she's in so much pain and if she can sleep and not feel it, that's what I want her to do. But it seems like she's lost a bit of trust in me which prevents her from sleeping. I do believe she's scared I'm going to leave her.

It seems like since I adopted her she's just been scared of a lot more with me. Whether it be "annoying me", refusing to sleep in fear I'll leave, or not really communicating what's wrong. I feel as if it's going to take time to prove that I'm not going to hurt her, leave her, or stop loving her.

It'll take time to reverse all the fears and thoughts her dads put in her head. I'm aware of that and I'm willing to be patient with her. I know I need to be.

I look down at Phoenix on my chest and give a weak smile. I never really thought I'd be a mom this young, but I honestly don't regret it. Phoenix became everything to me the near second I met her, I just had this type of connection I can't explain.

She's my world now and I will do everything to protect her and make sure she has everything she could ever want. I've got to make up for the 14 years of hell shes been through.

She deserves to have the best life and I'm going to do my best to make sure she does. I am going to do my best to be the best parent I can be for her, even if she can't view me as one. I will just go at her pace. She may never be able to call me mom and that's ok. As long as I know she's happy and healthy, that's all that matters to me.