The Consequence of a Dream

Ch. 15

Demi's pov

*1 week later*

Phoenix seems to be getting more comfortable each time she goes on stage. However her hate comments on Instagram have trickled to twitter and YouTube. I continue to watch her and make sure that what she's reading isn't effecting her too much, but it's hard to tell.

Ever since the dog incident, and I saw her cry, she's not let me see any emotions from her. She's only gotten her guard up higher and her wall tougher. I can't read her emotions like I once did. It's impossible now.

I turn my head to Phoenix who sits on the other couch in my dressing room. She's just sorta staring off into space. Not really paying much attention to what's going on around her, but at the same time very attentive to what's going on around her.

"How do you feel about tonight Phoenix?" I ask.

"Ok."

"Is it getting a bit easier to sing each night?" I ask.

"Yes ma'am."

"Good, I figured it would, but I'm happy to hear it's getting easier. It's something you have to get used to a bit." I say.

She gives a single nod not looking at me.

"You know, Harley likes to hear you sing. She gets so relaxed on the couch and just is so chill." I say.

Harley rests her head in Phoenix's lap causing her to look down at the dog. That dog really has no idea how lucky it is. She reeled Phoenix in but I have no doubt that Phoenix is going to protect it at all costs. She really loves that dog. But with no one else to care about or showing her the love the dog does, I'm sure it wasn't hard for her to love it so much. It's giving her two things she's never had, love and positive attention.

"You've got such an amazing voice. I can't believe all you can do at just 14. Your range is insane, your vibrato is better than mine is, your falsetto is angelic, your incredible." I say.

"Thank you." I hear her say quietly.

Silence falls between us and I'm the one to break it a few moments later, "I just want to give you a heads up, my parents and sisters are going to visit sometime next week." I say.

"Yes ma'am."

I try to see her actual feelings about it, but she shows me none. Her feelings are masked and they are masked well.

But I will not give up on her. I know this isn't going to be easy, but I refuse to give up on her. I do not care if I end up her legal guardian because of me helping her, I will do it in a heartbeat. I'm better fit to take care of her than anyone else in her family seems to be. She deserves happiness and I feel I can give that to her. It'll take time and trust, but it's something I know I can do.

Phoenix's pov

I should've expected her family to visit her on tour soon. But I didn't expect it to be one week into it. I'm not comfortable with the idea but it's not my place to say no. It's her and nicks tour not mine. I have no place to tell her that her own family can't come.

Dallas makes me uncomfortable and with how much Dianna asks me questions, she does too. She just seems fake to me. You can't possibly always be that happy and have that much energy and really want to know someone that well. If so, I'm gonna hav to question what she's on. Because you've got to be in something to be that happy and that interested in someone.

Trust me, I'd know. My dad used to be really happy when he was on something. But as soon as it wore off, it was immense anger. Not that it's much different to now. I just had a few hours of quiet as he was under the effect of drugs. I don't wish anyone would do drugs, but I do miss him being not abusive every hour of the day because he was high.

But when you don't have the money to do your favorite hobby, you gotta quit. Which is what he did. Thankfully, because I was the one he forced to get the drugs. When a child gets them, obviously something isn't right and someone else is to blame. But if a teenager gets then, it's not so innocent and they are to blame. So thankfully I won't be getting his pick up and one day be caught because of him. Or I hope not at least. I really hope he doesn't find a way to afford his old favorite hobby. Now more than ever really.

"My moms dying to see you again. I honestly think she might just be coming to see you again. She loves you." Demi smiles.

Harley please make sure her mom doesn't get near me. Her mom gives me bad vibes. If you can hear what I think, that's all I need you to do that day.

I watch Phil walk into the dressing room unannounced which is something he should probably stop doing. What if someone's getting dressed? He can't just walk in on somebody naked.

"Phoenix 5 minutes til you're on." He says.

I get up from the couch and walk out of the room and to backstage. I'm given my earpieces which I put in myself along with a mic. As usual, I just wait until I hear that it's my time to go on stage. As usual, the crowds silent.

With each show, it just becomes more and more silent and I know that Demi's fans are passing along the news to don't welcome me. I've seen the tumblr post thread already. I've already seen the plan for all her fans to just dislike my YouTube videos to make my dislikes out weight my likes. I've seen the plan to send me so much hate I leave the tour. I've seen the plan for the Houston show to actually boo me off stage. I've seen the plan to film everything I do so if it's embarrassing, it can be posted. Ive seen the plan for people at barricade to throw water bottles or anything that'll hurt at me. I've seen the plan for everything. The longer the post sits on tumblr, the more I see it come to life at the shows.

I sit at the piano and set my mic in the mic stand and overlook the people on floor. Instead, I stare at the concrete balcony at the back of the stadium. It's the only place I don't have to look at people.

"Hi, my names Phoenix and I'm going to sing a few songs for you all." I say.

Despite none of you wanting me to.

"This first song is called Happy Face."

Because you all hated ghost so much I ditched it last night and replaced it with this song.

I sing the first verse after the guitar intro and once I sing the prechorus, I feel the pain in my heart. But of course I do. I wrote the song about myself and from an outsiders point of view. Expect, no one is there to realize my crappy life.

"Yeah, I know I know you better than your parents
I heard about 'em, you don't gotta be embarrassed
You go online 'cause that's where you can be the saddest
You've been acting careless" I sing.

I look down at the piano to avoid eye contact entirely as I sing the chorus, "Now you put on a happy face
You need someone who's gonna stay
I know you're crushed under the weight
Wanna hold you up
Wanna hold you up
You keep things bottled up inside
I wish you'd give someone a try
You fell apart a million times
Wanna hold you up
Wanna hold you up
Before my heart gives out" I sing.

I see a water bottle be thrown in my direction but the security guy in front of me catches it and drops it at his feet.

I do my best to pretend I didn't notice it, but that's a hard thing to do. Because it's not the impact that causes it to hurt. It's knowing the fact it happened that did the most damage.

I finish the song and look back at my Demi's band who look at me for direction. I put them in a tough position this evening during soundcheck. I wanted to replace another song on my setlist due to everyone hating my song teenage mind. But I didn't exactly say what I for sure wanted, just to watch out for one or two. One being teenage mind, two being my new song I wrote last night and handed sheer music to them this morning.

I hold up two fingers and that's when I hear the guitar intro for the next song. I pull the mic out of the mic stand and just sit at the piano and sing the song.

I give it all that I have and do it to the best of my abilities with what little time we had with it. But it's not like it'd matter if I did it good or not, I know I'll still get a large amount of hate for the song. I always do. Demi's fans never seem to lack hate for me.

I don't even know why in here anymore. It'd be best for everyone if I left. But the one thing holding me back is my dad and the for sure death I'd have if I turned back only a week into this.