The Consequence of a Dream

Ch. 4

Phoenix's pov

Sleep didn't happen for me last night. Not that it ever happens to be honest. It's not easy to sleep when you fear getting beaten in it. Nor is it easy to sleep in a strangers house...

Anyways, I've gotten dressed for today, done my makeup, taken more Tylenol, and ate the granola bar I got on the plane yesterday. So I've finally eaten something. Due to my inability to sleep, I've also figured out my setlist as well. I even wrote a new song. I've also mentally composed how I want each song to sound so I think I'm pretty prepared for today.

My light turns on and I quickly turn my head to see Demi standing in the doorframe or the room a bit surprised, "Oh wow, you're already ready."

I give a small nod, "Well, I made breakfast. You need to come and eat." She says.

I don't need to. Can't the human body last a couple weeks without food? It can right? I almost am certain I've heard a science teacher go off topic in class and admit that before. But I don't argue.

Instead, I get out of the bed and follow her to the kitchen where two plates and glasses of water sit at the table. I watch her sit down before I follow her lead and do the same.

"Did you sleep ok?" She asks.

I give a small nod lying per usual.

"That's good, have you thought about a setlist yet or do you want some help?" She asks.

"I thought of one."

"Oh that's good! What songs are you going to sing?" She asks enthusiastically.

"Six of my songs then Apologize by OneRepublic. That was the first song I covered on YouTube and the song that started everything for my channel. I have that song to thank for so many things, so it only seems logical to sing it."

That and I'm in so much emotional pain that I need to sing it. I thought that being away from my dad would be easy. But all my minds doing is drifting to him and reminding me of how much abuse I've endured in my life and is really hurting me mentally.

"I thought secrets was the first song you covered." She says.

I shake my head, "Second, Apologize got taken down by YouTube about two years ago for a copyright issue. I didn't realize after 3 disputes the song gets taken down. But it does. So secrets is the first video on my channel, but second cover."

"Do you remember all the covers you've uploaded?" Demi asks.

Yeah, because I remember the situations that lead to me singing that song. It's rather hard to forget about the situation and the song I sang that week due to them...

"Yeah."

"That's crazy, you've uploaded so many. I wouldn't be able to remember all of them if I were in your position." She says.

I give a small nod keeping my attention on the food before me. The untouched plate of food that is.

"Do you have any questions about the tour?" She asks.

"No ma'am." I say quietly.

I'm worried about a lot, but it's nothing I want to discuss with her. I'm worried about what will happen if I mess up. Everything in my life has consequences so what will the consequence be if I mess up? Will I get screamed at? Will I get hurt? Will I have some type of repercussion like not being allowed to sing or sing that song anymore? Will I be kicked off the tour after being screamed at and hurt? There's so many questions in my head right now. I'm scared, worried, and stressed about a lot.

Demi's pov

I don't believe I've ever had a 14 year old call me ma'am and as much as I'd like to correct Phoenix on it, something in me is telling me to just leave it. What I'm seeing from her isn't normal. The constant no where contact, the flinching in hugs, the not eating, the ability to lie so easily.

I don't know what her life story is, but something tells me there's more to her story than just her mom dying. Something tells me abuse happened at some point. Because a child who'd been in a happy home all their life, doesn't act or react the way she does. Not even one who has anxiety.

I have a feeling she just calls any adult older than her ma'am or sir. Because I didn't fail to hear her say 'yes sir' to her dad over 'ok dad.' That isn't what you call a parent if you have a good relationship, or healthy relationship with them.

I finish the breakfast on my plate and look and phoenix's untouched place of food. I refrain from pushing her to eat now. I'll wait a few more minutes before I do.

I get up from the table with my plate and rinse it off before putting it into the dishwasher. I then walk back to the table and grab my glass and pour the water down the sink before sitting back at the table and that's when I see she's eaten all the eggs on her plate, both pieces of bacon, and half a pancake.

I sit down and it's then when I see her fork just sitting on the plate in the same spot it was prior to before I turned my back.

"Is that all you can eat this morning?" I ask.

She gives a small nod not making eye contact with me, "Well I'm ok with that, you at least ate something." I say.

It's an improvement over how much she ate yesterday, that's for sure. But it's still not a lot which a worry. It's not enough after eating absolutely nothing yesterday.

I pick her plate up and throw her food away before rinsing her plate off and putting it in the dishwasher. I then put her cup in the dishwasher and look at her, "Well, we need to get going now." I say.

She gives her usual nod and I lead her out the front door. I lock the front door behind me and lead her to my car. I unlock the car door and get into the drivers seat as she gets into the passengers seat. Her head hangs low in the passengers seat as I start the car.

"So is this your first time in California?" I ask.

"Yeah."

"What do you think so far?" I ask.

"It doesn't really look like the photos."

"Hmm, maybe before we fly out I'll take you to some of the places in the photos? Maybe the pink wall, the beach, and a few really cool little restaurants." I say.

I hope to see a reaction out of her, but she just stays her tense self and just gives a small nod. Almost as if the idea itself makes her uncomfortable.

"Have you been to any other state other than Texas?" I ask.

She shakes her head staring at the floor board of my car as I back out of the driveway, "Well, you'll get to see a lot of pretty cool cities on this tour. And you'll even get to perform at your hometown of Houston." I say.

"Yeah."

"The Toyota center is in Houston correct?" I ask.

"Yes ma'am."

I don't think ever ever felt so old before. No ones really referred to me as ma'am, but hearing it from her just makes me feel old. But, I still will not really address it. If anything I'll just warn Nick and everyone else apart of the tour to do the same and just let her call them ma'am or sir.

Right now my biggest concern is just making her feel comfortable, safe, and getting to know her. But I can't get to know her if she's not comfortable and doesn't trust me. So until I build trust with her and see her comfortable with me, I won't be trying to push to know more about her life or her family.

This week my only goal is to get her to feel comfortable around me. Being on tour is a scary thing, but being around so many people you don't know can be overwhelming. So all I want is to be comfortable around me even if she doesn't fully trust me. So that way she'll at least have one persons she's comfortable with and just not a bunch of people she isn't.

It's a bit of a high expectation to have her be comfortable with me in just a single week, but I'm going to try my hardest to make it happen.