The Consequence of a Dream

Ch. 35

Phoenix's pov

Hot, in pain, uncomfortable, and sweaty, are the only words to describe me right now. I do not like this at all. I don't want to have to do this for a week for the rest of my life. This is awful. I hate it.

"How about you go take a bath Phoenix?" Demi asks.

I shake my head, "Why not? It'll help a bit." She says.

"I don't want to be alone. I want you."

"Ok, I can sit in there with you if you want." She says.

I don't really want to move, but if a bath really will make her feel a bit better, than I'll do it. Because I could use a bit of relief right now. My insides hurt so much.

I get out of my bed and Demi follows behind me to the bathroom. I get undressed and get into the bathtub carefully. Because I don't want to tear stitches out on top of the pain I'm already in. That's the worst thing I could do right now.

"Here put a few caps of this in the water." Demi says.

I turn my head to her as I turn the water on and see she's handing me bubble bath. I look at her confused, "I think you'll feel a bit more comfortable if I can't see you in the bathtub. The bubbles will sorta hide you."

I've never had a bubble bath so I really have no idea what she's talking about. But I do as I'm told and set the bubble bath in the side of the bathtub and just watch bubbles fill the water.

Just like Demi said, I'm just a few moments, the bubbles hide me completely in the water. The whole top of the water is nothing but bubbles.

"Have you ever had a bubble bath before?" She asks.

"No." I say dragging my finger through some of the bubbles.

"It's pretty nice Huh? Kinda relaxing?" She asks.

"Mhm."

I grab a hand full of bubbles and try and make a ball of bubbles in my hand. I do not succeed though.

I see Demi put the seat of the toilet down so she can sit on the toilet and I turn my head to her, "How come you have to have this happen for the rest of your life?" I ask.

"It doesn't happen for the rest of your life. You go through menopause which is when it stops. You hit a certain age and once you go through that, you can't have a baby anymore." She says.

"I don't even want a baby." I say.

"Why not? I think you'd be an amazing mom one day." She says.

"I have to many problems and I don't want anyone else to have to have them. So I don't want to have a baby and risk them having those same problems and just living in pain for their entire life. Plus, I don't even know how to be a mom. I haven't had a mom, ever." I say.

Demi's the closest thing I'll have to a mom but it's hard to look at her like a mom. I feel like she's more of an older sister who just takes care of me. The age makes it hard to look at her as a mom I guess. If I was younger I might be able to. But not when we're this close in age.

"Nix, what you have we can manage with medicine. Some of it at least. But I don't want to shove you into therapy and a psychiatrist if you aren't ready. But the anxiety, depression, and a few other things can be fixed with medicine. It takes time to heal sweetheart. What you've been through isn't something you'll recover from overnight, not even a year. It takes time, therapy and patience. But none of that should hold you back from having a kid if that's what you want. I have a lot of problems to but that hasn't held me back from adoption you or wanting to have another child in the future." She says.

So she does want another kid then? When? I like having her to myself. I don't know if I like this idea.

"You'd be an amazing mom one day. Don't let your head convince you otherwise. Don't let anything hold you back." She says.

I just give a small nod despite what she's saying not really convincing me otherwise. I'm not having kids, maybe if I adopt one. But not biologically. I don't want to see anyone suffer with what I do, especially not if it's my own child.

"How are you feeling now?" Demi asks.

"Not much better." I say honestly.

"I'll give you more pain medicine once you're in bed." She says.

I just sit in the bath water until it gets cold and I then put a new pad in my underwear and throw the old one away. I then go to my room with Demi's and as she said, I get Tylenol once I'm in bed.

I rest my head on her chest and she very gently rubs my back, "You're not cold are you?" She asks.

"Just hot."

She takes a few blankets off me and takes the ponytail off her wrist and I feel her put my hair into a messy bun on top of my head. I do feel a little bit cooler if I'm honest.

I feel a gentle kiss on my forehead and I lift my head up slightly to look as Demi, "I love you." She says.

"I love you too." I say quietly.

I do, I love her a lot. I'll appreciate her more than she'll ever know or I'll ever be able to put into words. I know it sounds so cliche but she saved my life. My dad would have for sure ended it had I actually gone home. I owe my life to her.

As the sudden wave of tiredness hits, I wrap my arms around her and she just runs her fingers through my hair, "I'm guessing the Tylenol has hit hasn't it?" She asks.

"Mhm."

I didn't even know Tylenol could make you tired. I've been taking it for years and haven't ever felt tired from it. But I guess my anxiety and fear was so high that the effect just didn't work when I was with my dad. But now that I feel safe and protected I kinda just feel the entire effect of the medication.

"Get some sleep, I'll stay right here beside you Phoenix." She says.

Far too tired to try and stay awake, I do just that. I fall asleep on her chest and trust that she'll stay with me. Because she always does when she says she will.