The Aftermath

9 - I can't lose you...

A/N:This one is sad, so grab your tissues and get comfy. Maybe put on some sad tunes.
Becky
We pulled up at my house and I dived out of the car. I ran inside and started calling for Colby and got no response, I went upstairs and the door of the bathroom was shut. I opened it and Colby wasn't there. I ran back to the car,

"He's not there!"

"What do you mean?"

"He's not there! Joe can you track his phone?"

"I can try..."

I couldn't stand up my legs were shaking, I never ever want to lose Colby. He means the world to me, yes we may get into some stupid arguments but deep down he's my everything. I need him, if I lose him then I lose everything. I feel so scared right now, I need to know that my beautiful amazing man is alright.

"I've got a location."

I put my seatbelt back on and Joe started to drive once more.

TW:Mentions/Attempts of suicide

Colby
I pulled into a old car park and pulled out my phone, I didn't have a paper or a pen so I recorded a voice memo for her. I hope she hears this, but now it's time for me to go. I've got two boxes of Advil in my glovebox, I need to take them and I can finally be free of all the pain in this world. I can finally be free of all the things I've done, I don't have to feel guilty for breaking Becks anymore. I pull out my water and take the first two Advil, then another two and then the rest of the box. I start to feel drowsy and I start to feel numb, I go to open the second box when I start to feel weightless. I feel the tears rolling down my face, I am such a terrible person in life and in death.

Becky
We were ten minutes away from Colby and I can feel my life ending, I can't lose him. He's all I have left, I can't raise a child without him. I can't help but feel like this is my fault, if I just told him and explained my reasons maybe we wouldn't be here right now. I just wish I knew he was okay, I can't help him and it's killing me. This is all my selfish fault maybe if...I can't do this. I look out the window I close my eyes and I see everything me and Colby have done together flash before my eyes. I hope I'm not too late. I see Colby's car in the car park up ahead, I jump out of the car and run to his. I see him laying there, Advil in his hand. I feel the tears pouring down my face, I reach for a stone and throw it at the passenger window, it smashes and I lean in and grab the door handle.

"RING AN AMBULANCE!"

I scream at Ashley and Joe, I don't mean too but I'm terrified that I've really lost him. I climb into the car and pull Colby up to my chest, I grab his wrist and check for a pulse but I don't feel one.

"No, please Colby."

I check his neck and didn't feel one there either, I keep checking and I keep getting nothing.

"Please, I need you!"

I see his phone on his dashboard and I notice it's on, I pick it up and see a voice memo called.

"Dear Becky."

I can't listen to it, I can't have lost him. I see the ambulance pull up, I see the paramedics run up to us, the ask me to get out of the car and I do. They pull Colby out and start checking to see if he has a pulse. They start compressions and I join them on the floor. I can see my life crumbling before my eyes and I can't do anything to stop it, to save him. I can see that there getting ready to give up.

"Still no response, shock him."

I have to stand back but I can't. Joe has to come and pull me off the floor and hold me back. They shock him and he still has no pulse, they try again and still get nothing. They look up at me and shake there head.

"NO! PLEASE I CAN'T LOSE HIM!"

I didn't think my heart could break anymore than it already has, I've never been so wrong. I'm screaming and crying, I'm not ready to lose the love of my life. I'll never be able to forgive myself, they shock him one last time and they feel the slightest pulse. I just want to run over there and hug him, hold him, kiss him just do anything to show him that I love him. The give me a nod as they run to get a stretcher from the ambulance, Joe lets me go and I fall to the floor, my tears are still falling heavily as I crawl to him. The paramedics are back and start hooking Colby up to wires and put him onto a stretcher, I jump in the back of the ambulance with him. My hands are shaking like crazy , I feel terrified that I'm gonna lose him. I nod at Joe who's also crying as they close the doors of the ambulance. After five minutes in the ambulance Colby's heart stops again, my tears are blinding me. The paramedic starts compressions and shocks him after a minute. No response, I think this might be the end and I don't even want to think or feel ever again. The paramedic is still doing compressions when we arrive at the hospital, the doors of the ambulance are opened and I get asked to leave. I step out of the ambulance and I can feel my legs crumbling underneath me. I sit on the wall and take a minute, lately things have been really hard but I never thought it would I get this bad. I see Joes car arrive in the car park, Joe got out and ran over to me. We both watched as the took Colby out of the ambulance, we followed them up to his room. I held onto Joes hand so tightly I was afraid I might break it.

"Right let's try one more time."

I felt everything in my life coming to an end all at once and I can't take it. They shocked him but there was no response.

"NO PLEASE, YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE UP ON HIM!"

Joe had to pull me back as I tried to run over to Colby.

"Time of death 22:03."

I watched how every doctor and nurse just stepped away. A big hole was just teared out of my life, a Colby shaped hole that will never be filled. All I have left of him is that voicemail...

A/N: If your crying right now don't worry I am too. This chapter was obviously another hard chapter to write but I felt like I needed to do this. I'm sorry if I made you sad and I'll see you in the next chapter.