Together Again ✦ Snily

[chap.30]

A/N:

Hey there buds! Merry Christmas!

Here's my authors note warning of some mature content in this chapter. When you see it coming, and you don't want to read it, then PLEASE PLEASE stop. I put a ** [two stars] beside the first and last paragraph with content. I don't want to be responsible for scarring of the minds of my wonderful readers x.x

Be sure not to skip the whole chapter though, there're super important stuff in the end bahaha.

Super big thanks to the awesome @severusdowney who kindly beta-d this chapter for me and offered great advice, revision and editing :)

Enjoy darlings!

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Chapter Thirty: A Christmas Tragedy
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||Third Person||

"You know I don't want to hurt anyone... I'm just so utterly confused. James, I need you. I wish you never died. But then if you never died, I don't know how things would've ended up being with Severus. I would never look at him romantically, because you'd still be here. God, I need help. James I need your advice. Sirius won't even hear of it, and I don't want to burden Remus anymore with my irritating worries unto of his other stress. Peter is a bloody traitor and is in Azkaban, Alice and Frank have a ward in St. Mungos, and Mary has been out of the country for a long time. There isn't anyone I can go to for help James."

James surveyed her with worried eyes, as she perpetually cried into her pale, shaky hands. She knew it was useless to be communicating with her dead husband through a fallacious and foolish stupor, but everything else seemed to be somewhat hopeless. No one was truly aware of what Snape and Lily's relationship was currently like, except suspicions from the Hogwarts Staff and this James Potter whom she's been dreaming and lamenting to. Sirius doesn't have his thoughts of intimate interactions between the two, and Remus wasn't one to be thinking up story lines or not minding his own business.

"What feels right Lily?" James asked quietly. She can hear the heavy-heart tone in his distressed voice. "Only you know what you want to do. I'm bloody dead anyway, why do you need my input? You know I'd only want for you to be happy."

She sniffled and looked at him, trying not to break down in sobs again. "I need your input because I love you! But I think... I think I love him too... "

"There's no shame in admitting it Lils."

"But.. aren't you mad? Angry? Jealous?" Lily replied, quizzically.

"Yes," James said admittedly. "Of course I do. But if Snape makes you happy, that's okay because I want you to be happy. That's all that matters to me. I want you and Harry to have a good life, and I want you to continue on strong, and I want you to have someone. Even if it makes me feel these negative feelings, it also makes me feel positive feelings - for you."

He smiled at her, and she reached over to hug him among the foggy setting. He kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear, "Just promise you won't forget me."

"James, I could never forget you. I love you," Lily mumbled back miserably.

"I love you too."

*

The memory of the dream alone was enough to make the roasted chicken from the Christmas Feast in her mouth tasteless, although it was indeed full of flavour. Everyone was so happy and merry, but she couldn't even find it in herself to smile. Lily took a small sip of her drink and turned to Harry beside her, who was stuffing his small little mouth with more mashed potatoes than he could handle.