[chap.8]

5K 241 266
                                        

Chapter Eight: For Better and Not Worse
________________

||Severus||

Here I am, for the second time on her doorstep. This time I don't have to go through the awkward doorbell ringing and her looking frazzled when she comes to answer the door.

I try my best to smile at her. I have a feeling it turns out like a lopsided grin. By the way her cheeks are rosy red, I could she's been out for a stroll.

"Went out for a walk?" I asked kindly. She smirked and stepped onto her doorstep. We were so close. My breathing caught, but she hadn't noticed.

"Harry needed the fresh air." She said, and turned away to unlock her door. Lily stepped into her house and shifted her gaze to me.

"Are you coming in?"

I don't need to be told twice.

I go into her house, and am hugged by warm air. I kick off my shoes and unfasten my travelling robe then hang it.

Lily had already undid her and her son's robes and is in her sitting room, setting the baby down on a settee.

What do I do? I feel so unwelcome, I feel like she's still angry at me for something. And then I realize...I never really had apologized for what happened a couple years ago. It was my one regret in life.

"You can sit Severus, the sofa won't swallow you whole." Lily said lightly, gesturing for me to sit. I take a seat on the same sofa I sat on before. She sits on the sofa she sat on before too, opposite me.

"The talk." I said nervously.

Was that really all I could say right now?

"Oh yes," Lily seemed more downcast that I have mentioned it. "You can go first."

No no. I am not going first. I am not telling her my death eater status before she tells me her story. I know what will happen once I do tell her. She will kick me out. Lily will probably hate me...

"Ladies first." I offered flatly. Lily seemed so tired but she smiled all the same.

"After Hogwarts, James and I got married."

After Hogwarts you and James got married. Not to mention it broke my heart.

"Shortly after, we had Harry. You remember Sirius?"

"How could I forget?" I groaned slightly. One does not simple forget Sirius Black. Especially when he put you through hell.

I instantly felt bad because Lily looked like she felt bad. It wasn't her fault that the Marauders were such pricks.

||Lily||

I hesitated before continuing. I feel guilty and on the spot, but we'll both be feeling that way sooner or later. This 'talk' won't be smooth.

"Sorry." I muttered quietly. I'm not sure if he heard me or not, but if he had, he did not acknowledge it. "We made him Harry's godfather."

Severus' gaze dropped to his fingers as he fumbled with the hem of his black sleeve. A pang hits my heart. Has things really gotten this bad between us? How hard is it for the two of us to have a civil conversation and to look in one another's eyes? I've always found his eyes quite mesmerizing, the darkness had always glittered and glinted in a curious way. I find it...appealing. Is that the word?

Last year, before Harry was born James and I were discussing then topic of godparents. The first person who popped in his mind was Sirius, and the person who popped in my mind was Severus. I asked James about Severus being the godfather. He said no. (A/N: Canon and confirmed by JK Rowling herself) I asked why. James stated he still strongly disliked him, and that he was a git and called me a mudblood and might be a death eater so I should still hate him. I never had hated Sev though, he has always been so important to me. He always will.

Together Again ✦ SnilyWhere stories live. Discover now