[chap.13]

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Chapter Thirteen: Don't Get Carried Away
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||Severus||

It's November 12. 11:00am. She's on my mind.

I'm sitting behind my desk, grading potions that my Second Year class handed in as my Sixth Year class sits in front of me, listing the properties and what they can smell from the Amortentia potion.

I purposely made sure to keep the cauldron of Amortentia as far away from my desk as possible, but it was hard because the seductive aroma wafts everywhere. I try so strenuously to shake my head of all thoughts of Lily, but that's hard when her vanilla-jasmine hair scent keeps filling my nostrils; along with the flowery perfume she often wears, mint toothpaste, old books and melting chocolate.

Last time I talked to her was yesterday, when too many events happened. The boring staff meeting, visiting her son in the hospital...

...the kiss...

Honestly, I didn't know what her reaction would be when I stopped. But she was calm and didn't make a big deal out of it, unlike me. I'm making a fuss.

It was embarrassing. I've always imagined that my first kiss with her would be memorable and sweet and intimate, instead it turned out to be awkward, unexpected and unwanted. For her at least.

Then yesterday she hugged me at St Mungo's. It was a comforting hug, it wasn't a hesitant or awkward or a half hug. It was a real and heart-warming hug.

After we left St Mungo's, I took her and Harry home to Godrics Hollow. I really don't want them to stay there, but she insists. So I left them in peace and returned to my quarters in Hogwarts. But the moment I left her, the moment I was forced to say goodbye, my heart sunk to my stomach. I didn't want to leave her, I yearn to stay with her all the time. I want to make sure she is safe and healthy and happy and that her son is safe and healthy and happy as well. But I can't. And that sucks.

I didn't realize the time had passed by so fast, and the bell for lunch rung. I stood up, and glare at the class half-heartedly while trying to ignore the lovable fragrance of Amortentia.

"Class dismissed." I spoke lowly. "Hand in your parchments by my desk before you leave for lunch."

They do so and after I collect them and count if they had all handed it in, I think about her again.

I decide to go visit her during this lunch hour. Especially since right after lunch I have my break.

So I put on my travelling cloak and leave a note for Dumbledore, saying that I'm going to go check up on them.

Once I'm off school grounds, I apparate to Godric's Hollow.

||Lily||

I'm about to put Harry in his high chair for lunch when the doorbell rings. My heart leaps (I don't know why it leaps, maybe I was just jumpy) because I know it's Severus. No one else visits, which I don't mind.

I take Harry with me because hell, I am not leaving him alone anytime soon.

As I open the door, cold November wind rushes forth and brushes my hair off my shoulder.

"Good afternoon Mr. Snape." I smiled kindly. The corners of his lips curved up as the wind blows his dark hair in front of his face.

"Good afternoon Ms Evans."

I don't correct him and say that my name is still technically Potter, because I don't feel the need to. I don't know why, and in that moment it doesn't seem important to figure out.

"Would you like to come in?" I asked, opening the door wider and stepping back.

"No thank you, I've just come to see if Harry's okay."

That's so sweet of him. I look down at Harry, who's chin is on my shoulder. I rock him carefully and observe how pale he still is, the only thing that doesn't seem so ghostly is the lightning bolt scar on his forehead.

"He's..fine. His temperature changes drastically every three hours but otherwise he's fine." I nod reassuringly, averting my gaze back to him. He was staring at Harry with a worried expression, and it meant so much to me how much he really does care. "Are you sure you don't want to come in? You're missing lunch at Hogwarts."

"I have my break after the lunch hour, so I can eat then." He looked back at me with a sympathetic expression. I felt bad about dragging him into all this, he didn't need the extra work. I'm just bringing him down. I wish he would just admit it to me.

"Are you sure?" I arch an eyebrow teasingly. "I think I cooked too much pasta."

He chuckled and his dark eyes sparkled with happiness. I'm happy to see that he's happy. The first time I saw him at the Apothecary, he seemed so miserable.

"As tempting as it is, I shouldn't. The house elves will probably scold me for neglecting their food."

I laughed too because it seemed so natural. Now I realize how much I enjoy is presence, even when he's moody. I still enjoy it then.

I think about my dream about James, and how Sev kissed me yesterday, and how I hugged him and how I love his minty smell.

Maybe.. just maybe, I do feel something a little more than friendship. It's too early to decide.

"I should go now." He interrupts my thoughts. "I promise I'll come back and eat your pasta one day."

"You better." I rolled my eyes jokingly.

He steps down from the doorstep, still facing me. I find myself not wanting him to go.

"Don't miss me too much Sev, I'm only an apparation away." I kid.

"I'll try." He smirks and turns away, then disapparates.

I wish he could stay. Even though I know how wrong it is to feel these feelings, and how upset it would make James and Sirius and Remus feel, I can't help but feel attached to him.

No Lily. Remember what you said? You told yourself you'll never find love again. That's supposed to be your promise to yourself. Don't get carried away.

I huff impatiently at my inner voice, and close the door to go feed Harry.

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A/N:

Second update today :) Hope you enjoyed<3

This chapter is dedicated to: @ThorHairflickSnape XD

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