Dear James

Dont tell my secret .

I had been sitting here for over ten minutes, not wanting to look at the result. Twirling the stick around in my hand, I sighed deeply. All that I could think about was my life , my job , my friends and how that would all end soon. I couldn't believe I let this happen to myself.

A chill ran up my spine as I turned the test over to see two blue vauge lines. My heart practically fell in my stomach, I gripped my side and began to cry silently. My breathing began to speed up as I tried to wrap my head around this fact. My eyes wandered all around the room before I closed them again trying to stop crying. Then finally I got my breathing together, then I whispered the words: I'm pregnant.

I stood up from the side of the tub and threw the test away in my bathroom trashcan. At first I couldn't even look up because I couldn't look at myself the same. When I finally did nothing but disappointing thoughts came to my head. I watched the tears as the slowly fell from my eyes. My dark brown eyes turned bloodshot and puffy and my skin was red. I wipes my eyes and composed myself. I turned on the cold water in the sink. My hands felt the coldness first, then I splashed some onto my face and arms. After wiping my face and drying my arms I looked at myself a little.

My long curly brown hair was all over the place. Mainly from hanging my head for the past minute or two. My mixed complexion grew lighter because of the lights.

My name is Nylah, Nylah Grace actually. I'm twenty-three and I live with my best friend, Kimbriella. (Kim for short.) I graduated high school and college with an undergraduate degree in dance and business. Im biracial, but my skin tone makes me look Dominican kind of.

I opened my bathroom door and I was in my room now. I grabbed my phone off of my bed and walked to the front room. My body was numb, and I couldn't really make sense of anything. My mind was everywhere and I couldn't really seem to focus on anything but my being pregnant. I sat on the couch and unlocked my phone with my four digit numeric password. I pulled down the notification bar to see that my sister, Avory, texted me.
Text mode

..........

Avory- heeeey, Wyd?

Me- nothing at home bored, wbu

Avory- wanna hang out for a little bit?

Me- yeah sure , can you come over?

Avory- yuuuup, see you in a little bit

A knot in my stomach began to form ,I felt it. I was scared to tell Avory. She's my big sister and she's always wanted me to aim to be like her, everybody did. My hands began to shake and I couldn't get it to stop, nothing I did couldn't control it.

While I waited for Avory I was texting my boyfriend, Brandon. As soon I did I thought about the baby and tell him. He's always talked about how he didn't want kids and how he doesn't think he ever wants them, what the hell am I going to do? This can ruin everything between us. But before I could even finish thinking about it, Avory was using her key to unlock the door. I looked at her as she walked in the door. She was wearing pink sparkly Uggs with black leopard print pants and a Hello Kitty shirt. Her hair was in a simple messy ponytail with a thick black headband.

"You look nice," I said looking back down at my phone. "where you goin'?"
"Out with some friends later. Where's Kim?" she said taking a seat by me on the couch.

"Work."
"You don't have work today?"
"Uh. No I took a couple days off." I finally looked up from my phone. "So I'll be here." I leaned my head on the top of the couch.

"Come with us, it'll be fun."

I knew she would offer for me to go. But I don't want to be around anybody right now. Its too much. I just want my best friends and Brandon. That's it.

"No thanks. I need to be alone for a little while." I got uncomfortable and layed my head on Avory's lap, something I used to do all the time as a kid. Immediately, she started running her fingers through my hair.

Then she began to ramble on about something I could care less about. That's when my senses kept saying "tell her, tell her now". But I couldnt I kept trying to get the words out, and nothing came out. I tried like twice and nothing. For once in my life I can't blurt something out. My palms got all sweaty and my heart was beating as fast as ever. I had to tell her now.

I closed my eyes and bit my lip. Here goes nothing. "Im pregnant Avory." I blurted without thinking twice.

I picked my head up from her lap as she motioned for me to do so. She picked up her bag and left without saying a word. I got off of the couch before she slammed the door. I ran after her and grabbed her arm and made her face me.

"Avory please don't tell mom and dad ... Please."

She looked at me up and down with disgust and yanked her arm before walked off and leaving. I walked back into the apartment slowly and sat back on the couch. Then I got a text from Brandon.
Text mode

babes- are you okay?

I read the text and began to cry. My head began to pound and that knot came back. No I'm not okay. I'm pregnant and nobody but my sister knows. I don't know what I'm going to do and who knows what's gonna happen to me soon. No... I'm not okay. I climbed into a ball and fell asleep on the couch. Soon I'll wake up and this'll all be a dream.... Hopefully