Only Mine {Book 2}| Completed

Chapter 1: There's No Place Like L.A

Chapter 1: There's No Place Like L.A

9 Months Later,
June 2020

                    EMMA: 🌹

I think we are two different type of people in this world. The people we trust and the ones we don't. We all have to go through struggles sometimes. The ups and the downs. And the very unsettling moments that none of us wish to relive over and over and over again. None of us want to. But the awful part is that we do.

     For nine months I had counted the pedals of a dying rose in the hospital. I sat at the table sometimes just lost in thought. Petra used to comfort me sometimes. And other times we just talk. And she knew my story and hated how I always felt ashamed of myself for. I had not been able to sleep. I had rough nights. And I had good nights. But I used to wake up crying. And I found it hard to return back to sleep. The nurses would give me something to take. And I gladly would take it.

    But they didn't know what was in my dreams. Or more likely...my nightmares. I close my eyes and the first thing I see is my father holding a gun and he is pointing to shoot Christopher in the head. In the dream I am screaming as I watch him fall right down to the ground. I wake up screaming from it. The worst fear is losing someone you love. But the only problem I had everyday was that I felt something crazy. I knew something. I felt like my father wanted to move on. He was never ready to talk about me.

My father never gossiped outside of the family. And I been rotting in this institution for months. A year and nine months it's been. Today marks day two hundred and fifty two days since I been here. And I just couldn't understand how my dad...the man who promised I was his everything. The one he was protecting me from everything since as long as I can remember...just throws me into an institution. And quite frankly, he signed me to get admitted on the worst day of my life. And he did it without my mother's consent. And never have I ever been more upset due to this. But he never has visited or called me once.

   And I just couldn't even imagine what he is doing that he doesn't have the time to actually visit me. Of course I'm just trapped. If I wasn't locked up here I'd be graduating right now. I'd be going off to college right now. This is so hard to sit here and act like nothing pisses me off when it does. I get calls from Mandy and Victoria. And still, Victoria is dating Logan. And I'm actually grateful. But nothing from Peach. It's probably because our last conversation didn't end on good terms and she probably hates me. And quite frankly I don't blame her.

The events from the day I was committed here is all a flash. Sometimes it comes in flashes. Others...it's hardly a thing I remember. I write down things in my journal I only remember. I remember crying for Colleen, begging her not to let me be taken away. But she just stood there. But I didn't deserve this. My own mother tells me I don't either. And I know that day it was raining and I was soaked and pulled out with my father dragging me out. I remember crying and just screaming my head off.

Doctor Jefferson is always telling me that I hold in too many emotions in and that if I write them down in my journal he gave me here... that then their not bottled up. He says that talking helps. But I'm never exactly sure about any of it. He always tells me I have confidence and I'm a loyal person. And all I ever want is my father to understand me. But I honestly don't know what possessed him to do this to me.

And I just cry into my pillow at night only thinking... of how could I be locked in here all because I was in love with my stepbrother. I still love him. But Doctor Jefferson tells me it's all for my own good that I'm in here to get the help my dad wants. Unfortunately Doctor Jefferson and my dad talk over the phone and dad visits him personally and they discuss me. I know that my father is watching me. It's like I'm under a fucking microscope with him. And he's watching every single move. And if I step on the wrong side or make the wrong move... I'm going to crash and break. And I will fall. Colliding down. With the agony, tears, fear and the dread and guilt. And no one can save me or pull me up. And I'm just screaming to not fall.