Only Mine {Book 2}| Completed

Chapter 41: A Walk in the Woods

Chapter 42: A Walk in the Woods

After we got me some hiking clothes I had put them on when we got to Christopher's apartment and all I thought about was the kiss we almost shared. And everything Gavin said is coming true. It will torture me forever if I don't actually admit it to myself. But maybe it's better this way. Better to wonder. And I feel like it actually makes more sense than anything.

I have my hair tied up in the highest tightest ponytail and I'm wearing a sleeveless ADIDAS halter shirt with a black leather jacket, black latex stretch pants and Puma sneakers. So if we are hiking this was appropriate. And I know wearing this wear would be the best.

Today is not a bad day. The sun is actually out unlike it has been for two days. After the rain and the horrible storms that occurred. And here I am, just sitting here in Christopher's lovely Red Convertible Mustang. Well actually my red convertible mustang. I actually laughed when he decided to actually decide we drive my old car. The car I abandoned. And I actually feel guilty about that. But to know that Christopher has had it actually excites me to be grateful he didn't trade it in and get another car. That would actually be a nightmare. And I will forever remember this car.

The ride in the mustang felt like it did when I drove it. Christopher driving it felt quite different. Like I was in another world. His gray eyes finding mine. His great ambitions filling the energy in the car as he drives on the beautiful freeway to wherever the hiking trip is. And during the ride, with the windows rolled down and the wind blowing on my face so warmly, I thought about everything Gavin told me. So I felt like I was definitely someplace else. And I was just lost in the moment of things being what they are and how I wanted them to be. This was quite unlike anything I've ever been with. With Christopher things feel the way I used to feel.

Before I was locked in the institution I had this way of not letting bad things get in my way. I had excitement constantly everywhere I look. And I didn't worry about tomorrow or what would happen next week or month or two. But then my dad found out about Christopher and me all through those stupid Polaroids. And they destroyed me. And Christopher. We both had these painful memories and days that probably haunt us every time we're in the dark. And curiosity just winds up on us.

And then, when I came out of the institution, I refused to see Christopher let alone want him to know I was released because I wanted to heal and focus on myself. But I had contradicted myself and jumped into a relationship with Noah. Quick. I went on a date at his stupid penthouse and then I had sex with him that first night. Maybe it was the wine. Maybe I was just so fucking in a hurry to have sex because it had been eight months. And I rushed into it.

And then after Noah and I turn into this fucking happy couple, Christopher shows up with Tulips that I felt so much like a traitor to him. And then he was there kind, patient, and beautiful Ig words can define it. And when he wanted to reconcile with me, I felt like a whore. A whore who moved on with a guy so quickly. And Christopher must of thought so. And then I just knew I ruined it. And I felt my heart break over and over again.

When I was with Noah I felt like I was someone completely different. I was not the person I thought I was. I would look in the mirror and not even recognize myself. And maybe Noah had changed me for those long months. But now I can be grateful that it is all over. And just so sudden. And I laugh to see how little things took a turn. Christopher makes me laugh, he makes me feel safe and makes me feel proud of who I am. And this friendship with us is definitely a great thing that is happening between us and I truly love it, no matter what.

While we were driving in the suburbs I just had the curiosity hitting in my head, wondering where Christopher was taking us. Is it actually hiking or is it just what he likes to call it? I didn't wish to question him. And I remained quiet, getting a good look at the nature. But when I thought that driving for a while was tiring then he just parked the car.