Only Mine {Book 2}| Completed

Chapter 18: Forgive Me

Chapter 18: Forgive Me

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I had not stopped crying after the events that happened. It was unbearable. And worse is I had cried on the phone to my best friend I called crazy for saying I'm wrong. What if Gretchen saw all the signs for a reason? What if she could read Noah better than anyone? And I am just crying knowing that he could treat me like that. My back still hurts from when he pushed me right into the car. And my neck hurts only when I talk due to when he tried choking me. And no one has ever treated me so bad as that. If my dad knew about any of it he would kill Noah.

I just kept replaying the events in my head. And I kept hearing him call me a whore over and over and over again. I just cried my eyes out, unable to think of anything but Noah's hurtful words. How could he do that to me? I even threw the necklace he gave me at him. I don't even know if I want to forgive him. If he even wants to apologize. I didn't do anything wrong. He's the one who showed up acting like a jealous paranoid overprotective boyfriend and just slut shamed me in front of Matt. He choked me and he hit me and slammed me hard against my car. He had no care in the world that he hurt me. Is he sorry? Is he even thinking of me?

I heard it raining outside but I honestly didn't care. I cried with the heavy rain outside my window. Alex and mom came in a few times to check on me. I told mom that Noah and I got into a fight. I didn't tell her about him hurting me. And I didn't tell her about what. And she tried comforting me but I just preferred to cry. I had taken a shower and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and I threw my hair into a messy bun and I started to watch sad movies while eating myself Ben & Jerry's.

I cried out a loud sob with wails over Noah. I tried to process what happened the hours ago between us. I wanna just get over it. And it's kinda hard to just move on and act like it didn't happen. I don't think Noah knows how bad he hurt me. And the way he changed from the kind, respectful and charming guy to this angry possessive guy. It was like I didn't know him at all. Maybe I don't know him. That's the problem with our relationship. We both quickly jumped right into the relationship without a second thought. Gretchen and Petra said I started dating way too soon. But now that I think of it maybe their right.

I could actually just stay here and cry. Even if it is forever. Is this what everyone saw in him? And of course I just wanted to try everything by being into something else. I got up over to my stupid shelf, which of course was a book that I didn't realize was there.

   Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë.

  I assume this is Alex's. I never owned or had a copy of Wuthering Heights. This is Christopher's favorite book. Maybe perhaps dad mailed this here and mom stuck it on my shelf and forgot to mention it to me. And not mentioning it to be crazy was probably just something that slipped mom's mind. But I'm positive this has to be Christopher's copy. He would never go anywhere without this book. Why would he leave it behind? Him and his dad had a bond with this book. Just like mom and I had a bond over To Kill a Mockingbird.

I just stared at the bookshelf and realized it could be a book mom had. She reads the same. And so I'm not gonna bother with it because Noah has the constant reminder on my head about all the awful things he said to me. By calling me a whore. Just because I was talking with Matt. What kind of boyfriend does that? Gretchen told me that if a guy is clingy and doesn't believe me then he doesn't deserve me. Do I believe her? I'm afraid so.

   I guess all I did was cry when I returned to my bed and I couldn't help but just understand why I am allowing myself to cry over him. They always say the only man you can trust is your father. And for once, I actually want my dad. I want to cry to him and just tell him everything by crying my heart out. But I can't. Because if I do...my dad will kill Noah.