Only Mine {Book 2}| Completed

Chapter 21: Everything Is What It Is

    Chapter 21: Everything Is What It Is

   C H R I S T O P H E R: 🥀

For a few days since Peach and I started dating it actually has been a lot easier because I absolutely don't have to hide how I truly feel about her. Lara Jean actually was gleefully happy about it accept for when she saw my shiner which she knew I didn't fall but that I was jumped or just outright attacked by Axel. And I actually don't care about it. Because I'm not gonna waste my time having the same old fight with him about Lara Jean when it's a delusion in his head.

I have actually told all my friends about Peach and me actually being together and they all had the reaction of, 'it's about time' face. And their not wrong. I should have asked Peach out a long time ago. I shouldn't have cared about Emma or wasted my time waiting as I thought there was hope. Because at the end, there was no hope. She just hurt me and found someone else immediately. And when she visited me in the hospital I actually was nauseated when I saw her face. And she acted like I was some criminal. When I did exactly as she promised. So I'm glad I have moved on. And hell, this will make Edward happy that I won't be macking on his daughter anymore. And so, I'm dating Peach Golightly who I feel like I have chemistry with. For days she's been spending it with me and my mother. And I laugh at how accepting mom is of Peach. And I know mom was never accepting of April. But she was accepting of Gina. So I'm again, reminded of that back when I was fourteen.

   As crazy as this sounds, but Peach reminds me of my mother in a way. Her kindness and her hardworking nature where she puts others first. Peach is probably the only girlfriend I could imagine myself with. Ty actually finds it a 'meant to be' couple. And Peach always looks gorgeous. And I just care about how I feel about her and not what others might say or think. And I'm very aware how needy and neurotic Peach is. But my guess it's because of her parents and how she was raised. And I feel quite comfortable when I'm with Peach. I feel like a whole new person whenever I'm around her. And if anyone were to tell me they otherwise then they obviously don't respect me very much.

Sometimes I look between Peach and Emma and I see them both different in different ways. I see Emma as the girl I was crazy for. That I would climb a mountain for. She was my everything and she was beautiful and just the only person who I wanted to be with at a time. I would give everything up to be with her. But I guess getting my heartbroken was just meant to be. Emma made that choice. But while I had been broken for a year in and out of therapy, Peach was there for me and I was too blind to notice it.

    When I was with Emma, I felt alive and I thought there was no one else I could love. But now to me it's like an abomination. This lie of what loving her was as if it never happened. And I just hate the truth. But I have loved Emma for a long time. And now I'm finding this happiness that I missed when I'm with Peach.

    Yesterday Peach and my mother got along so well. It was like she treated her like a daughter. And mom never even treated Emma like that and she's her stepdaughter. But I can see Peach just looking pretty with this glow. This glow that everyone knows what it means. As in too much sex. And that's because I rather not spare you the details. I rather just say since Peach and I started dating we haven't exactly stopped having sex, it's been at least a nonstop explosive no-bars-hold sex. And we been trying to make things better with us. And try to not worry about the what if's. And I think Peach is okay with it. I know she is a bit needy and clingy at times. With April it was unattractive but with Peach it's actually hot.

    I lied with Peach in my bed, just letting the flashes of black and white hurtful memories in my nightmares try to disappear in my mind. And it's something I'm not able to talk to about to anyone. And I don't want to worry Peach. She knows that I go through so much as it is. I hate to worry her. I would hate to put her through so much.