Only Mine {Book 2}| Completed

Chapter 45: Desiring Heart

       Chapter 45: Desiring Heart

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I collapse down on top of Noah with a groan after another round with him which I had to admit was nice. But after it was finished, we both went through a bad fit of breathing. And that just had to be the best yet. I felt insane over him already and quickly. It took me a minute to actually process all of this. We had neglected to whole party and we spent all night up in this bedroom doing what we are good for. Is this all we're good for?

I lied off of him and I was lying beside him, and I tried thinking of what a disaster that I made. Did I just have sex with Noah? I swore this off to myself a month ago. This is going to look bad. Everyone is going to kill me. I cannot actually just act like this was okay. I think I have abandoned Victoria to get laid with Noah. What kinda friend am I? And it's bad enough Josh might have sensed something and I think Aya Khou might have told him since their pretty close with each other. And I don't even want to be part of this stupid lustily make up sex or whatever it's called. We are too toxic. We can't stand one another. We fight crazier than most humans our age do. I actually was screaming inside but unfortunately not one person could hear me. I just wanted to cry but I stopped and Noah must have been missing it because he always does it the same. I could remember distinctly that whenever I used to have sex with Christopher it was different every time. He never rushed me. He always made me feel comfortable. He always wanted me to feel good and he just cared about pleasing me first before he would be pleased by me. And Noah is the exact opposite of that.

Oh damn.

Why am I thinking of Christopher right now? Why am I comparing Noah and Christopher when it comes to having sex with them. I really am awful. What the hell am I gonna do now? I'm lying here...thinking of Christopher when I shouldn't be. I hope Noah can't read minds because it's a good thing super powers aren't invented in this lifetime so that he cannot hear me thinking of Christopher.

I see Noah staring up at the ceiling and I wonder what he is thinking. Is he thinking of me? Is he thinking of what we just did? Does he think this was a mistake? Is he going to switch our relationship into a booty call? I had so much I clearly wanted to ask him. But I was definitely uncertain of what to do. Noah was barely breathing. And I was trying to figure a way out to actually talk to him or get something out of him.

I felt his leg entwine with mine, and I usually accept it but I was still. And I could barely actually appreciate doing any of this at all. Suddenly the tears fell from my eyes and down my face. Why did I get sucked right back up into his trap? Am I crazy? Or was I trying to be crazy? That's got to be it. I was too weak and he knew it and so he pulled me right back into it. I can't stand him and I can't believe he had did this to me. I'm practically just going to die here if that's what it is. Noah night has well kill me right now because I can't take this anymore.

And why isn't Noah even talking to me? He's never this quiet after we do it. Something is clearly up with him. Why is he acting like a complete moron? He's the one who wanted to have sex like nine times after just a few seconds ago. What is his problem? Does he enjoy torturing me like this? I couldn't actually handle this another second and I sat up willingly and I got out of the bed we were lying in. And I grabbed the sheet covering it around my naked body and I had just grabbed my clothes off the floor. I put my panties back on and my dress and then my shoes. I took the sheet and threw it back on the bed and I actually just saw him lying there and he looked flustered like this wasn't how he planned it. I guess this was out of the question. He took the sheet and covered himself with it.

   "Where are you going?" He sat up, that confused frown plastered on his pale face.

  "I'm getting back to the party before Victoria thinks I abandoned her. Besides, she's my ride back home." I said, grabbing my purse that was on the floor and Noah just scoffed at me like this was a waking nightmare.