The Bad Girl's Depression

Chapter (A) America

I stare down at my feet watching it as it touch the cold tiled-floor. I was about to stand up but something made me seat again. Thinking what would be the next tragedy that will come to my life. I don't even know if it will end. It seems like, the world is so cruel to me. Sometimes I just ask myself, Why do I even live? Does it have a purpose? Yeah, right. I think the purpose of me living is to feel all kinds of pain in this world. I lived all my life with so many burdens. And I'm used to it. I choose to ignore it even though it is inevitable. I'm a living masochist. Brilliant, isn't it?

It's been 2 weeks since that demonious day. I grabbed the chance to leave that hell but what the hell?! Nagawa ko ng lumayas! Yun na yung pagkakakataon kong lumigaya at hanapin at makasama siya pero...

Ang alam ko dapat patay na ako.

Ang alam ko, habang tumatakbo ako palayo, Nabundol ako.

Pero pagkagising ko, gusto kong sakalin ang mga taong una kong nakita.

Gusto kong mabundol ulit. At hwag ng gumising pa. Bakit pa ako nagising?!

Bakit nila ako ginaganito? Alam nilang ayoko sa lugar na 'to pero ganon sila kasama saakin. Bakit hindi nalang nila tanggapin na ayoko sumunod sakanila? Ayoko sakanila! Ayoko dito! Ayoko ayoko ayoko! I hate them! I hate them all!

"When will you get tired Genevic?" tinignan ko siya ng masama tsaka yumuko.

"GET OUT!" I growled.

"Ouch. It's been so long Genevic, and now you're shouting at me? Is that how you greet 'i missed you or hello maybe?' Tch. You're not the boss of me." I heard him laugh a little. I heard his foot steps coming near to me.

"One more step and I'll kill you."

"Oh! Haha easy there little tigress. I know you're a btch but, I know you can't kill. You're not me. And you will never be like me, Genevic. I won't let you."

"But what if I join your underground organization? Sounds brilliant right?"

"Stupid. As if I will let you."

"But why not?"

"Because you're just the Innocent little Genevic who is afraid of a little cockroach! Hahahaha!"

"They're gross. And dirty. So don't insult me." I gave him my deadliest glare.

"Fine fine! I give up. I just want to ask you if when will you go down and roam around the house? Don't worry. Grandma's not here for the next few weeks. She's out for gambling. Stupid granny." 

Tama siya. Simula noong sapilitan nilang pagdala sakin dito sa America ay hindi ako lumalabas ng kwarto. Hindi ako nakikipag-usap sakanila masyado. Talagang makulit lang 'tong kaharap ko kaya wala akong nagawa. And I'm still in the middle of my talk when he came.

Dinadalhan nalang nila ako dito ng pagkain pero I choose to eat junkfoods, buiscuits, noodles and sodas instead sa mga meals na pang breakfast, lunch, snacks and dinner. Ano bang akala nila, porket dinala nila ako dito magbabago ako? They don't stand a chance. They are the reason why I'm like this and yet they want me to change. Tch.

Nahiga ulit ako sa kama at nagtakip ng unan. "Umalis ka na nga!" Ilang minutong hindi ako nakarinig ng ingay pero nagulat ako ng bigla nalang niyang hilahin ang kaliwang paa ko tsaka diretsong binuhat na parang sako. Nagpupumilit akong bumaba pero mahigpit ang hawak niya.

"You son of a btch! Bitawan mo ako! Ano ba?! Ayoko ngang bumaba!"

"Sabayan mo akong kumain. Wala akong kasama!"

"Pta bakit ako? May mga yaya naman ah?! Sila yayain mo!"

"Ayoko! Crush pa naman nila ako, Baka halayin ako!"