Kabanata XVI. Autumn
It's been three years, three long years... wala na akong balita sa Pilipinas, minsan nagtetext sakin si Ate Mary, nakikipagkamustahan but that's all. Nothing more. I actually wanted to cut ties with all the people back there, except Ate Mary. I don't know, maybe I just want to start a new life in a new place.
I changed my numbers, even Rachel can't contact me anymore I also created a new email address for business and studying purposes. Masyado na palang maraming laman na kung ano-ano yung email ko before so, I decided to change it.
I also changed my hair color, from black to dirty blonde. My tita suggested to change my hair color to look more sophisticated and to make myself look more liberated. Para daw bumagay ako sa environment na meron dito sa America. I also ended up liking the hair color kaya hindi ko na pinalitan, mas mukha nga akong sophisticated at mas mukha akong matured with this kind of hair color.
I already finished my studies one year ago and I'm currently working at a large and well known real estate as their manager. People tell me that it was actually quite impressive for someone who's as young as me.
I became the youngest manager of that real estate company at the age of 23. I was also an excellent student when I was still studying at the university, I only took a two-year course but I already proved so much people.
The reason behind all those achievements and success is because of my heartbreaks. I decided to push myself more and make my mom and my relatives proud. Well, atleast I can feel that mom is already proud of me.
I took a one month vacation to visit the Philippines. I'm going back for Marjorie. Last year, she died. Nanghina na siya ng tuluyan at mas lalong lumala na yung sakit niya. Unfortunately, the cancer cells spread through her body and affected it. Hindi na niya kinayang lumaban kaya, ayun she died. I'm so proud of her, you know. She did a great fight. Mahirap makipaglaban sa cancer pero kinaya ni Marjorie.
I was about to go home when I heard about the news but the time that Marjorie died was the exact date I had my finals. I really want to go back kaya sinabihan ko na yung mga profs ko that I will skip the finals but Ate Mary said na okay lang kahit hindi ako makapunta, she understand naman daw and now I'm going back for Marjorie, sa isang araw marks her first death anniversary at bilang pambawi I need to visit her.
To be honest, I really tried to removed Elias from my mind pero hindi ko talaga kaya. It's been three years but I still think of him. Kamusta na kaya siya? Okay lang kaya siya? Kahit na alam ko namang hindi niya ako inaalala, I'm still concerned.
I'm actually here in front of my laptop wondering if I should go open my another gmail account or not. Nabalitaan ko kasi kay Ate Mary na Elias have been messaging me through my gmail and he stopped after almost a year of messaging me.
Wala naman kasing nagsabi sakin na ganun pala yung mangyayari, kung alam ko lang sana edi sana... hindi ko pinalitan yung gmail ko.
I decided to open my old gmail. Kaya mo yan, Autumn. Ang dami mo ng nalagpasan and it's just an email from 2012. I took a deep breath before opening my old gmail account. I bet the one who gave my gmail address to Elias is Rachel.
Pagbukas ko ng gmail ko, tumambad sakin ang napakaraming... messages from Elias. My heart skipped a beat and I froze for a while pero mabilis lang rin akong nakarecover. After that, I decided to open of his emails for me.
December 31, 2012
Autumn,
Happy New Year, Autumn. I hope you're doing fine and you're doing well there. Don't worry this is gonna be my last message to you. I just hope you're okay. Kahit isang message mo lang na okay ka just to lessen the anxiety I'm feeling by thinking of you everyday. I'm going to be honest with you, I miss you. Miss na miss na kita, Autumn, but I decided to finally let you go... it's okay, I'm the one who left first, so it's okay, Autumn.
