It's been a year.
A year since we decided to just be friends.
A year since we were too afraid to face the emotions so we ran away.
From them.
From each other.
From her.
And now I'm here, sitting next to her on a plane to Paris.
Her head resting on my shoulder as she sleeps.
Her face in perfect relaxation as my hand is on her thigh.
Laura Prepon.
It started off as one night after a Orange party.
We both wanted to fuck.
We just acted like we were Alex and Piper..but we both new it was so much more.
The way her red lipstick claimed the estate on my skin.
The way she made me moan out in pure bliss.
The way we woke up in each others arms the next morning.
But I ran away.
She ran away.
We ran away.
Because we were scared.
Scared of rejection.
Scared of judgement.
Scared of our feelings.
We both decided it would be the best to just stay friends.
Pretend that night didn't happen.
We broke it off on set, tears still pouring down my face when the directors said action.
It's been a year since I've fallen for her...since we've fallen for each other.
I'm dating Carrie and she's dating Ben. We found other people. But she never looks at Ben the way she looks at me. I never felt the way I felt with Carrie than when I was with Laura. But at least we're trying.
And now..now we're sitting next to each other like a couple. Hell we even act like a couple sometimes, holding hands on the red carpet and giving each other kisses on the side of the lips. It's still there. For the both of us. We're so utterly in love with each other but we're too scared to admit it. If she was mine I would kiss her lips every minute of every hour. Tell her how beautiful she is everyday. Make her breakfast before we head to work. Take naps with her on set..well we already do that. I wish she was mine. I wish I didn't walk away from her. I wish I could show her how much I truly love her.
——
We're sitting in my hotel room on opposite sides of the couch, discussing the most recent interview we were just on. I want to kiss her. I want to claim her and make her mine. Fuck it. As she's talking I crawl over to her and press my lips up against hers, knowing that if there's something still there I'm gonna fight for it. I'm gonna fight like hell. She freezes in shock but quickly balls my shirt in her hands and kisses me deeper. Sparks fly and my body tingles, my hands entangling with her hair as her tongue pushes its way into my mouth. My god how I've missed her. Suddenly I feel guilt overcome the both of us and we reluctantly pull away. She's with Ben. I'm with Carrie..this is so wrong..but fuck. I would be lying if I said I didn't want more. I feel my heart breaking as I look into her eyes, full of love and guilt at the same time. "Laura I'm so-" I start to say but get cut off by her velvety lips getting pressed into mine. "One night." She whispers and I look at her confused. "One night. Tonight. I'm yours and you're mine..." She says and I nod my head, immediately crashing her lips back into mine.
————-
The sunlight breaks into the hotel room, both of us not sleeping a minute since this all started. We spent the night expiring eachothers bodies with our lips, our tongues, our hands, you name it. Neither of us wanted the night to end so we spent the rest of it talking and kissing, our bodies never breaking contact with each other. As Laura's ontop of me, praising my body with her lips. I hear both of our phones ring simultaneously. Ben and Carrie. Our bubble from last night suddenly pops, the entire situation coming crashing down on us. She gets off of me reluctantly and spoons me close, both of us trying to prolong the remaining moments with each other. "Is this it?" She whispers softly, her voice cracking as she kisses my shoulder. My heart starts to race as I hold onto her tighter, both of us trying to hold back tears. "Y-yeah..I guess it is." I choke out, my throat tightening as I crash my lips into hers. "I don't want it to be." She states and I look at her with wide eyes. She sniffles and kisses me once softly, her arms still wrapped around me tightly as she grabs my arms. Tears are still running down our faces as she dials up Ben again, my lips now kissing her cheek and neck. "Ben." She whispers, looking at me and kissing my forehead. "Ben I cant be with you anymore." She states clearly, stopping all my actions as I look up at her. "I'm in love with someone else Ben. I'm sorry." She says and I feel myself subconsciously grabbing my phone, unlocking it as I keep my eyes trained on Laura. "No. Stop. I..I fell for her a year ago..but I ran away. I was too scared but now I'm not. I love her Ben. I'm sorry." She says, her grip tightening on mine as I pull up Carries contact. "Goodbye Ben." She says and I wipe away her remaining tears, leaning up and kissing her cheeks softly. Without another word spoken between us I call up Carrie, her soft voice coming through the phone. "Carrie..I'm sorry." I say and I hear her immediate concern over the phone. Laura rubs my bare back soothingly as I take in a deep breath. "I'm not..I can't be with you anymore Carrie. I love someone else." I say and the line goes quiet. "I'm sorry..but you were just a distraction. I love Laura, Carrie, I'm sorry..I've never stopped loving her." I explain and she hisses over the phone, "Never stopped?!" I nod my head and answer positively. "I've loved her for over a year now..I've just been too chicken shit to realize." I explain, looking up at Laura and tracing my fingers over her silky smooth skin. "Pack your stuff out of my apartment..I'm sorry. Goodbye Carrie" I say and hang up, putting my phone down gently. "I love you." Laura and I say at the same time. We both smile and I gently cup her cheeks and kiss her. I kiss her with as much passion and force that I can muster. "I'm going to fight for this. Us. No matter what. No more running away." She says and I nod in agreement. "Never again." I whisper and she nods.
"Never again."
