Green Tea

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*warning: mention of substance and drug abuse, slight violence, slight language

POV – Hebinoya Ikari
Green Tea

Don't let me go.

When we are young, we are taught the difference between good and bad.

They pretend it is so easy, like everything is black and white.

Like there is a clear line drawn between hero and villain.

Like there is nothing grey, nothing blurred.

I am the blurred line. I am the grey spot.

Don't let me go.

Once I was out of my father's grip, I moved in with my uncle, Ryo, and my cousin, Ami. Apparently, Ryo is my mother's half brother. The social services guy told me Ryo is my uncle, so I considered him my uncle. Keep this in mind— I never said he was a good one.

At the time when I moved in, Ami was barely one and Ryo's wife, Seina, had just passed away. His addictions hadn't been as bad as it is now, but Ryo didn't take care of Ami as well as he could've. So I did it for him— changed her diapers, taught her to walk, all while balancing work and school. I got a job at Tanoko's when I was thirteen, since Ryo's construction work didn't cover all the electricity and water expenses. And that's been my life ever since.

Some people tell me I'm mature and hardworking. They think I do it flawlessly, like it takes nothing at all. Like it doesn't take sleepless nights listening to Ryo's drunken yells and rants, trying to avoid his slurred outbursts. Like it doesn't take day after day of overwork and fatigue just to get a stupid paycheck that I can't even spend on myself.

In reality, I am just surviving.

Not living.

Surviving.

And it's killing me.

Don't let me go.

I wake up early the next day for my exercises. The alarm clock on my phone whispers a quiet Italian opera song as I slip into workout clothes. If there is one good thing that I got out of Father, it's that it is important to keep a healthy routine. I head to the gym, and after an hour and a half of stretches and muscle-grueling exercises, I return home, careful to close the door silently.

The smell of alcohol still reeks from the living room, but there are no yells or sounds of smashing. Ryo must've already left, so I take this chance to untuck Ami from our makeshift bed and pack her backpack for daycare.

After everything is prepared, I carry her out the door, making sure to place her head on my shoulder. At this time of day, the sun has only started to come out and the air is dead silent. The early feel of fog sweeps my skin, coating a thin layer of water on my face. Barely any cars or traffic has come out yet, the only sound my quickened footsteps as I hurry towards the store. Once in a while, I feel the slow rise and fall of Ami's chest.

Tanoko would have already opened up shop. I quicken my gait to get to my early morning shift. When I arrive at the tiny, run-down store, I head around the back and rap on the door.

It takes a few moments and some cursing for someone to open the door— Tanoko stands behind it, a large grin on his face.

"How's it going, Ikari?" He asks, just like every other morning I've had to knock on his back door. I always give him the same answer.

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