the article « l.s.

[chapter 22]

Zayn looked at me skeptically. "You'll go, won't you?", he said with a slight smile on his slim lips. I just nodded while the tears just wouldn't stop streaming down my face. He stood up and hugged me. He rocked us back and forth to stop my crying. After I finally stopped crying, he said that I should get ready. He helped me pick out an outfit, in which he said Harry wouldn't be able to resist me. To say I was nervous would be an understatement since I felt like passing out of excitement. And then I was done and satisfied with how I looked, but as time passed my excitement rose. Zayn knew what was going inside of me, so he hugged me tightly one last time and said: "I'll be waiting here for you and when you're home, you have to tell me every little detail. And you look beautiful, Louis. I bet he'll love it!" I just nodded, grabbed my wallet with my phone, and stuffed it in my back pocket. With one last glaze to the mirror, I left.

After deciding to walk to the restaurant, I started walking. I just needed to clear my mind and think of what I wanted to tell him. And there was this little part inside of me that kept on telling me 'he's making a fool of you again!' or 'he won't show up!'. But I tried my best to just push it away. He'd be there waiting for me and we'd have a wonderful date, I just knew it. And before I knew it, I was stood in front of the well-known golden door and entered the restaurant. My face fell, when I looked over the crowd of people, but couldn't make out the way-too-familiar curls. But before I could turn around, a waitress came over to me. "You must be Mr. Tomlinson?", she smiled. "Yeah? Why?", I asked completely confused. She just led me to the back of the restaurant, where everything seemed to be a little more private. And there he was. He looked beautiful as always. As soon as he saw me, his eyes widened in surprise and he abruptly stood up. I could almost sense his nervousness. His hands were shaking and he kept on fixing his long curls. But I didn't feel any better either. My hands felt dripping wet from sweat and my head was spinning. I rubbed my hands on the sides of my black skinny jeans and was already reaching out when he just pulled me into a tight hug.

And for the first time in a month, I felt safe and everything was right. His cologne rose to my nose and I never wanted to let him go, afraid that it'd be just a dream or that everything was gone. But after a while, I slowly pulled away, but his hands didn't leave my waist. "I'm glad you came. You look perfect.", he said shyly. I blushed and mumbled a 'Thank you'. We then sat down and ordered our food and our drinks. "So, how are you?", he asked, not quite sure if he was allowed to ask that. I didn't really want him to know how bad I was, so I just said that I was good, which he said he was too. With the look in his eyes, I could tell he was lying too. But I was sick of lying, so I broke the silence. "Actually, that was a lie. I was horrible, to be honest. And I was getting better until our call. After that everything went downhill because I had to fight my feelings for you all over again.", I said and even to my own ears, I sounded pretty cold, however desperate at the same time, but my strategy was chosen: honesty. I really didn't just want to jump back into his arms and let him play me again. I wanted to show him what he was missing, so he would never do that again. To be honest, I was more than afraid that he would do that again and just leave me. But that time for good. "Louis? Are you even listening?", he asked with a small smile playing on his lips. "Yeah, sorry. What did you say?", I asked embarrassed. He chuckled, which caused all the butterflies I had tried to kill the last month, to rise like a phoenix from the ashes. "I said, that I'm sorry for that.", he locked gazes with me. "I really am. This was the biggest mistake I had ever done in my whole life. And as I said before. If I could turn back time, and trust me, I wished for time to be turned back so many times during the last month, I would. No matter how I'd do it. Because, Louis, I love you! With everything I have. You are my happiness and I just can't let you leave this easily. I need you.", he said with so much sincerity in his voice, that a shiver ran down my spine.

"I know.", I said and wanted to go on, but the waitress came and brought our food. So we silently started eating, but I had to get this off my chest. "Harry, I know. And...I love you too. I'm sorry for the unfair things I accused you of. I'm just scared. You have to understand that too. Because who guarantees that you won't just get up and leave again or play me again? I don't think I'd survive that to be honest. That night, I broke down on my bathroom floor and passed out, because I felt like dying.", his eyes widened and he grabbed my hand, which send shivers up and down my arm. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know that. And of course, I understand completely that you are afraid of me leaving. Because, to be honest, I'm desperately scared of you leaving too. But I promise you with everything I have, that I will never ever leave again, unless you want me to, of course. I know I messed up, but please, give me another chance! I need you so much. I promise to be 110% honest with you and that you can fully trust me! Just, please, Louis. Give me another chance!", he said with desperation in his voice. But what he didn't know was that I didn't need to think anymore. I was sure. I wanted him back and needed him just as much as he did. "I'd love to give you another chance.", I said, but he frowned. "But?", Harry asked confused. "No but's", I laughed. He seemed so happy about that and grabbed my hand again. "So, please, Louis Tomlinson. Will you honor me, Harry Styles, and let me call you my boyfriend again?", he asked. I nodded with happy tears in my eyes. He stood up and hugged me tightly as if he was afraid I was going to vanish or something. "Thank you so so so so much, Lou.", he kissed my cheek. I giggled, but said: "Hazza, that's not how we do it!", which made him frown again. I just cupped his face in my hands and crashed our lips together. At that moment I could feel my broken parts healing, Harry had fixed my heart at that moment and I knew I was whole again. The feeling was like a thousand fireworks exploding combined with the feeling of coming home when you've been absent for a long time. He still had that effect on me and I knew I did too. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer. After a while, we pulled apart and both of us had a smile on our faces as if we had won the lottery. That night was perfect and I didn't want it to end.