Lucy ate slowly. She drank a little more water. She wasn’t really hungry, although she knew she probably ought to eat. She probably ought to say something, too, she thought. The silence was dragging on, and getting a little awkward.
“I’ve never done that before,” she said after a while. “Skinny-dipping. Not once.”
“Really?” Erica said, and seemed surprised. Then she said, “So what did you think?”
Lucy wondered that too. She wasn’t really sure. “Yeah,” she said slowly. “Actually. It’s all right. It’s oddly… I don’t know, peaceful maybe? Or it makes me feel peaceful, somehow. I could do it again, anyway.”
Erica grinned, and ate another forkful of eggs.
“I wanted to try something new,” Lucy said. “I think that was all.”
“That was why the sitting around naked too?”
“I think so. Maybe. It just kind of seemed like a good idea, right then. Now, I’m not really so sure why.”
Erica laughed, and although Lucy didn’t think she meant it nastily, it still made Lucy feel a little silly. She shrugged, and went back to eating quietly.
For a while, they both ate in silence. Lucy left most of her eggs, and ate the dry toast instead, because she didn’t really feel like anything heavy. Which was a little odd, she thought, after smoking weed, but perhaps the pills were interfering in her appetite somehow. She wasn’t really sure. She nibbled toast, and Erica ate without really looking at Lucy, just staring blankly ahead of herself, at the kitchen wall.
They ate in silence, and Lucy tried to think of something sensible to say.
“It was good to see you again,” Erica said suddenly. “Just so you know.”
“You too,” Lucy said.
“See you like see you, I mean.”
Lucy looked up, surprised. Erica wasn’t looking at her. She still wasn’t really looking anywhere, mostly just at the wall.
“You what?” Lucy said.
“You heard me,” Erica said.
After a moment, Lucy said, “Yeah I did. But…”
“And you know exactly what I mean, so don’t pretend you don’t. Seeing you before, on the beach. That was good. It was good to see you again like that.”
“Oh,” Lucy said, still a little started. “Okay.”
“You do know what I mean, right?”
“I think I do.”
“So there you go. Don’t get weird on me.”
“I’m not getting weird.”
“You’re about to,” Erica said, still without looking over. “So don’t.”
Lucy shrugged.
“And also,” Erica said. “By the way. What you said before, about keeping track of me? I kept track of you, too. I wondered how you were. I checked up every now and then, when I could.”
Lucy was surprised.
“Being nosy,” Erica said. “That’s all. It’s no big deal.”
Lucy kept looking at her.
“It isn’t,” Erica said firmly, like she wanted that to be true.
Lucy nodded, even though she wasn’t so sure. She kept eating, quietly, a little lost for words. She kept eating, reminding herself to be careful what she said, and aware of Erica’s feelings.
“I missed you,” Erica said. “Is what I mean. I missed you at lot, and it’s really good to see you again. I should have said that earlier.”
“You didn’t need to say…”
Erica shrugged.
“Me too,” Lucy said, deciding to concentrate on the actual point. “Me really too. I missed you as well. A lot.”
And then Erica finally looked up, and smiled, and Lucy was pleased and smiled back. And then, because suddenly everything seemed quite complicated and tangled up with the past, instead of saying anything else, they both went back to eating.
YOU ARE READING
Losing Everything
RomanceLucy loses everything that matters to her, her partner and job and business and all her money. She loses everything, and in doing so she reconnects with an old friend, Erica, and begins to fall for her instead. And as she does, she realizes that e...
