Losing Everything

Chapter 10.2

Later, Lucy made lunch. Mostly because it seemed that doing so might be helpful, since Erica was busy. Before she started, though, she asked Erica whether she should, and whether Erica was hungry yet. She felt like she ought to ask, and felt a little awkward asking too. Awkward, because she had always used to be the one in charge, and deciding everything, and now she wasn’t, and she wanted to be careful about that, and make it very clear to Erica that she understood things had changed, just in case Erica minded. Lucy wasn’t sure whether Erica would be sensitive about their old relationship, and was worried Erica might be upset if Lucy kept acting like she could still just make decisions for both of them without asking. Because Lucy wasn’t going to, and wanted to make that very clear to Erica, so she asked about lunch, and didn’t assume anything, and hoped that doing so would show that she wasn’t being bossy, or demanding, or any of the other things which Erica might expect her to be.

She asked, carefully, whether Erica wanted lunch, and Erica just said, “Yep,” like she was concentrating, and still working, and not really listening, or thinking very much about who was making decisions about things.

Lucy decided she might have been worrying a little much. She went and looked in the fridge and cupboards and found bread and plates, and then made sandwiches.

Sandwiches, because everyone ate sandwiches, even though they were boring. And also because she remembered Erica had often used to bring a packed lunch to work to save money, and had made quite a thing of finding different and interesting fillings to put in her sandwiches.

Lucy grated a carrot and an apple as a filling, and decided that was enough, because the bread was quite nice, some kind of grainy dark bread, and the apple was sweet enough on its own. She made two sandwiches, and put them on plates, and then she carried one over to Erica and held it out.

“Oh,” Erica said, and seemed surprised, as if she’d actually been concentrating so hard that she hadn’t noticed Lucy chopping and grating.

“Don’t stop,” Lucy said, because of Erica’s concentration. “Just eat it and keep going.”

Erica looked at the screen, and hesitated, then said, “Nah, I could use a break.”

“If you’re sure.”

“Yeah. I ought to stop.”

“Don’t for me.”

“I’m not,” Erica said, and grinned, and got up and went over to the kitchen counter.

She sat on one of the bar stools, the one she seemed to prefer to sit on, and Lucy sat on the other, beside her. Erica peered at the sandwich, and looked as if she wanted to peel back the top slice of bread and see what was inside, but was making herself not. Instead, ate a mouthful and then said, “Oh, its good.”

“Don’t sound surprised.”

“I’m not. I just didn’t know you can cook.”

“This isn’t cooking. It’s, um, assembling.”

“I still didn’t know you could.”

“This I can,” Lucy said, grinned. “Really basic things like this, those I can do.”

“Smartass. It isn’t basic, anyway. It’s kind of clever. Apple and something, yeah?”

“Not really clever,” Lucy said. “And carrot. But I thought you were into weird sandwiches?”

Erica looked confused, and thought for a moment, chewing, and then seemed to remember. “Oh yeah,” she said. “Yeah, of course. I was. I used to be. But I sort of stopped. Working at home means I can just have soup or salad or whatever any time I like, so I just kind of do that now.”

Lucy nodded. That made sense.