Losing Everything

Chapter 6: Now

Lucy was looking at Erica, remembering. “So hey,” she said, after a moment. “If you do want to…”

“No,” Erica said. “I don’t. Go and sleep.”

“But we were so good together.”

“Sleep.”

“Weren’t we? Good together?”

Erica sighed. She was smiling, but she sighed. “We were,” she said. “But now you should go and sleep.”

Lucy stood there for a moment, thinking and then decided Erica meant it. And that Erica was probably going to start getting annoyed soon if Lucy kept interrupting her work.

“Yes,” Lucy said. “Okay. I’m going.” She started towards the hallway, then stopped and turned around. “Thank you. For this. For everything.”

“It’s fine.”

“Thank you for the bed too.”

Erica smiled. “It’s really fine.”

“Are you sure you don’t mind me staying?”

“Not at all. I wouldn’t have said to if I minded, would I?”

“You might have.”

Erica shook her head. “No.”

“I should say thank you properly.”

“Just go and sleep.”

“I should.” Lucy thought for a moment. “I could go down on you if you like? To say thank you?”

“Not now,” Erica said patiently.

“You’re sure?”

“I’m certain. I’m absolutely sure. I don’t want to, not like this.”

Lucy nodded. She concentrated for a moment, having to think to get her feet to work, and then turned around again and went down the hallway, to the bedroom doors. One room was obviously Erica’s, with a dresser and wardrobe and clutter and clothes. The other had a bed, and some stacked boxes, and was equally obviously a spare room.

Lucy went into the spare room, and lay down on the bed. She left the door open, and could hear Erica out in the main room of the house. She heard a computer start up, and its fan begin to whir. Then, shortly afterwards, Erica started typing.

Lucy lay there, listening. She listened for a while, because it was somehow soothing, listening to Erica work, and knowing Erica was there. She felt almost comfortable, she decided. Almost relaxed. It might just be the weed and the pills making her happy, she supposed, but she felt a lot better. A lot better than she had for days.

She lay there, listening to Erica type, wondering what Erica was working on. She listened, and after a while, she started to feel sleepy, surprising herself. She hadn’t expected to sleep, she hadn’t thought she would be able to when she was worrying as much as she was, but she seemed to be dozing off, and strangely, that made her feel better about everything else. Because if she could still fall asleep, then life couldn’t yet be utterly hopeless.

She lay there thinking about that for a while, and decided it was quite profound. She started to wonder if she was actually asleep already, and then, a moment later, she was.