“I came looking for you,” Lucy said, after a while. “Today. This morning. I came here looking for you.”
“Yeah,” Erica said, still typing, still looking at her computer. “I know. You said.”
“I was too late,” Lucy said, a little sadly. “I wish I’d come sooner.”
“What?” Erica said, surprised.
“I wish I hadn’t waited,” Lucy said.
Erica turned around and looked at Lucy. “You mean because of…”
“Because you’re taken, yeah. I wish I’d got here sooner.”
“Oh,” Erica said, and then just sat there for a while. “Oh fuck.”
“No,” Lucy said quickly. “No, I don’t mean like that…”
“Yeah you do.”
“No, honestly, I don’t. Not in a way that will be a nuisance. I was just thinking, that was all. I was remembering. How we seemed good together, mostly, but that you deserved someone better than me, because I was selfish and confused and I hurt you, and I’m really sorry for that.”
“Oh, Lucy, it isn’t…”
“So I wish I’d got here sooner,” Lucy said, talking over her. “That was all. I was thinking about it, and this kind of makes sense to me. If I’d got here sooner, I could have tried to make it up to you. For all of it. But now I can’t, because you’re with someone else, and somehow that doesn’t seem fair to you.”
Erica thought. She didn’t seem quite sure how to respond. “It’s not like that,” she said in the end.
“Yeah it is.”
“No,” Erica said. “I…”
Lucy waited.
“I suppose,” Erica said. “Maybe it is.”
“I think it is. I think I wasn’t fair.”
“Maybe.”
“And now you have someone else. Now you’ve moved on.”
Erica didn’t answer. She looked like she didn’t know how to answer. She sat at her desk, and stared over at Lucy by the kitchen counter, and mostly just seemed a little sad.
“It’s fine,” Lucy said. “It’s completely fine. I get it, and I don’t mean to be weird.”
“You’re being weird.”
“I know. I’m trying not to be.”
Erica started to grin.
“Yeah,” Lucy said. “I know. I should try harder.” They had always used to say that to each other.
“Yep,” Erica said. “Try harder.”
“I am. I will.”
“Good, do.”
“I will.” Lucy sighed. She felt bad for distracting Erica. She felt bad for being so difficult and needy almost as soon as she arrived. “And you should get back to work.”
“No,” Erica said. “We can talk…” Then she stopped. “Actually, I really should.”
“So do. Go work. I’ll just sit there.”
“You’re sure?”
Lucy nodded.
“Okay,” Erica said. Then she smiled, although she still seemed a little sad, and went back to typing, and Lucy went back to looking out the window at the heavy blue sea.
YOU ARE READING
Losing Everything
RomanceLucy loses everything that matters to her, her partner and job and business and all her money. She loses everything, and in doing so she reconnects with an old friend, Erica, and begins to fall for her instead. And as she does, she realizes that e...
