love is like a roller coaster

♥ seventy ♥

temporary nothing - mxmtoon

how does it feel, to feel nothing at all?

i'd like to know myself.
even the emotions that make me smile,
they're far too complicated and
i wish,
i wish,
that i didn't have to think about them.
worse are the ones like guilt,
and anger,
and fear,
because i've never been prepared
to think about them.
they are far too loud,
and i am oh so small,
and i'd like to simply curl up
and cry.

feelings, oh feelings, you tear me apart and i wish i could start again.

i am wrecked by what i do not know.
it's always the worst when i could help,
but unspoken words hold me back.
i am split in two,
broken down the middle
because i cannot choose
between myself and who i love.
because they're not the same.
and i often think that
i should make more of an effort
to love myself.
but why bother?
when i am told that i am selfish,
over and over again.
i want to start over.
when do i reset?

it's just better to feel, and know you're alive, while reminding yourself that it's temporary, oh, it won't last for long.

and i do find moments.
moments where i forget
my darkest thoughts.
and feeling makes me feel alive,
instead of telling me i can't.
to the people that make those moments,
i appreciate you more than you know.
even if it's just one word,
it means so much,
and it reminds me that i'm alive,
and feelings can be good sometimes.