One last time/Zauren

/9.

"It's twelve in the morning.. what the hell are you doing out here alone?" I asked taking a seat beside her, I didn't care if she minded or not. "I couldn't sleep and I know it's really reckless to come out here at this time, and alone for that matter, but I just needed some clarity."

"Same here. I guess that you and I can be reckless together." I heard what I believe to be a small giggle come from Lauren. I glanced over to her and she was just staring up at the stars holding the blankets close to her.

"It's weird that we both couldn't sleep and this is the place we decided to come to," Lauren said after a few minutes of silence. I nodded, focused on one of the stars that seemed to be shining brighter than the others around it.

"So, I may or may not head back to London for a few months or so," I said. Lauren turned to me and raised an eyebrow. "Really.. why?"

"I'm just feeling that some family time will get me past this hardship. Maybe I'll even move back, I don't know," I shrugged.

I could tell that Lauren had something to say because her mouth opened up but then it closed just as quick. "I really am sorry for constantly getting pissed off with you these past couple of weeks. I haven't been myself and I think it's just stress from work and stress from trying to make everything perfect and then stressing about my family and hoping that they'll be able to make it out to our wedding, and going to all of your family events and wishing that my family was there as well. It just all got to me."

"So.. I'm not boring you? You're not falling out of love with me?"

"Heavens no, Lauren. Have you gone mad? It's impossible to stop loving you, and I never in a million years wanted us to get to such a point in our relationship when you think completely packing up and going is the solution."

I heard a sniffle and I knew Lauren was sobbing. I pulled her close to me, and she placed some blanket on me. I kissed the top of her head taking in the scent of her shampoo. "I have loved you since I was twenty, and those feelings just continue to multiply. I don't want us to fall out of love. I really- I don't," my voice cracked with the thought of Lauren never being in my life again. "It is so fucking lonely in that flat without you there, even having Depp there it's still empty. I know I've said some things that were out of line and I wish I never said them. Everything was out of context. I wake up every fucking more and I look at that engagement ring just sitting on the table in the exact spot you left it the day you left."

Lauren was listening to me intently as everything I've had been feeling was pouring out. "You've changed me, Lauren, and it's not in a bad way. I've settled down with you and I am ready to continue settling down with you and I want to prove that to you. Of course we're going to have our disagreements down the road, but we've made it this far to just throw it all away. I will do whatever. I will wait however long it takes, but I want you. I want to marry you. Those feelings I had from when that seed of marrying you was planted in my brain, and when I went out ring shopping and when I proposed.. it's all still here," I pointed to my heart. "I want to marry you. I truly do. You are the best blessing I have received and I'm not letting that slip away."

Lauren didn't say anything in response and I wasn't really expecting her to. I was just really happy that we were here even under the circumstances. We sat there in a comfortable silence for what felt like an hour more. Lauren had her head on my shoulder, and I was rubbing my thumb in circles on her hand.

"I'd better get going," Lauren said. I nodded and felt sort of sad when she stood up. Lauren rolled the blanket up and draped it from her arms. "Thanks for listening," I said. Lauren smiled and started walking away.

"Wait! Lauren, wait up." I held my breath and released it when she turned around. "Do you maybe want to spend the night? Just feel things out?" I questioned. I couldn't really tell but I think she had a smirk on her face. "Sure. That'd be nice."

We drove our cars and headed seperately to the flat we shared just a couple of weeks ago. I could only imagine what was going on in Lauren's mind right now.

"I feel weird," Lauren laughed as I unlocked the door.

"Why?" I asked.

"I don't know. It just feels like I never lived here. I don't know what I'm saying.. it's late, just ignore me," she waved her hands dismissively.

I pushed the door open and turned on the lights. "Sorry it's a bit of a mess. I haven't really had motivation to clean." Lauren put her purse down and looked around as if she'd actually never been here. "I miss it here. I don't know, I feel like I've been gone so much longer than I actually have."

There were quiet foot steps and in a moment Depp was pawing at Lauren's feet. "Awe! My wittle baby!" she picked Depp and hugged him giving him kisses on his head as he licked at the air. "You left nothing here, so do you want some pjs to borrow?" I asked as she had her reunion. Lauren nodded and kept playing with Depp.

While Lauren changed in our bedroom, I got her a warm glass of milk. When I went back into the bedroom I couldn't help but find her even more sexy in my t-shirt and her underwear. Her hair was up in a ponytail which is something I adored when she did it. "I brought you warm milk. I know you like it."

"Thank you," she smiled taking the glass, and climbing into bed under the duvet. I joined her seconds later.

"I can sleep on the couch if you'd like?" I said. Lauren laughed and made a face at me like I'd said something dumb. "You're acting so nervous, Zayn."

"I know, I'm sorry. I just don't want to say something that will throw off the good vibe we've got going."

"I'm giving you permission to sleep in the bed with me," she laughed and looked down at her glass of milk.

"I don't want to throw off the vibe either, and I don't want you to get upset but I'm sort of scared that this is all a dream. Like we fight and then we make up and then tomorrow we're going to be fighting again," she said.

"No need to be afraid, Lauren. I promise you that we're going to go through a lot of shit together, but we're going to make it."

"No more fighting?"

"I can't promise you that, but I can try my damn best to not take my frustrations out on you," I said.

Lauren held her pinky out and I smirked wrapping my pinky around hers.