Spark (Kookmin)

46

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Yoongi hugged Hoseok who fell asleep holding him. He texted Jin, informing him everything was okay. He then sighed as he looked back at Hoseok and kissed his forehead then lay him down and walked up to his cupboard.

He opened it with shaky hands and moved a few clothes away to find the very same letter. It had been years since Yoongi had opened it. He honestly didn't even remember all the words he wrote but what he did remember was the pain he felt then. He took it out, and walked up to the window in his room. He lit a ciggerate as he stared at the envelope. He sighed and opened it, then took a piece of paper out.

He wanted to read it, but he couldn't bring himself to relive all that pain again. He didn't want to be reminded of what was but he also wanted to let it go. He squeezed his eyes shut as the conflict in his own emotions brought about the worst kind of pain. He shook his head and put the letter back.

He didn't want to do this right now. He put it back into the envelope safely and then put it back under the clothes in his cupboard. Yoongi lay down next to Hoseok, still awake. He held him and Hoseok snuggled up to him. Holding him felt like he was letting go of all these bad times, so he held him a little tighter.

______________________________________

When Jin received the text from Yoongi, he sighed and told the boys the good news. He wasn't very worried from the beginning but was a little concerned for sure. Namjoon saw that Jimin was in a very good mood, especially since he had just talked to his parents. He looked relieved. He was in the kitchen, packing up leftovers with Jin while they talked about random things.

Namjoon and Jungkook were in the living room.
"Kook." Namjoon said softly and Jungkook moved closer to him.
"Talk to Jimin when we leave." Namjoon whispered. Jungkook blinked and then nodded. They both smiled at their boyfriends when they saw them return.

"Let's go!" Jin beamed at Namjoon.
"Sure, baby." Namjoon kissed his cheek.
"You guys go. I'll be there in a bit." Jungkook said softly, Jin looked at Namjoon who nodded at him. Jin immediately took the hint, he smiled at him, hugged Jimin and then the two of them left.

Jimin locked the door to his apartment then turned around. He leaned against the door and smiled at Jungkook.
"Hi.." he said cutely.
"Hi." Jungkook smiled and gently held his hands.
"I'm sorry about today." Jimin said cupping Jungkook's face.
"That's okay." Jungkook gave him a smile, he placed Jimin's hands on his shoulders, he played a song on his phone, kept it on the side table then wrapped his arms around his waist.

Alexa play 'Can't help falling in love' by Elvis Presley.

"Dance with me, Park Jimin." Jungkook said and kissed his lips softly.
"I thought you'd never ask." Jimin chuckled and they began dancing.
"You're kinda tiny." Jungkook teased him.
"I know. Me like being tiny." Jimin smiled up at him.

"Ughh. I'm sorry. I don't know why I start talking like that with you." Jimin blushed and hid his face in his neck.
"That's okay. Me like it." Jungkook laughed softly.
"Jiminie..." Jungkook whispered after a few moments.
"Mm?" Jimin smiled up at him.
"Do you really not to sing anymore?" Jungkook asked and Jimin's expression hardened.

"This again? Please, Jungkook. I've got an official party tomorrow too. Just.. Please." Jimin tried to push Jungkook off weakly but Jungkook kept holding him.
"Baby. What is it?" Jungkook asked hugging him.
"It's..." Jimin wanted to lie or brush the subject off. But in Jungkook's arms, he knew his feelings were safe.

"I just want to belong. I don't want to struggle anymore, it hurts. Everything I do, hurts.. I want to make my life easier. I think I'm used to this now." Jimin held him tightly.
"It hurts because you're holding onto things you're not supposed to be. Jimin, this pain, it's because you're grabbing onto things you don't need. This environment, this toxic lifestyle. You don't need it. Don't get used to this prisoner like life, please set yourself free. Nobody can do it for you. Not even me. "Jungkook said kissing his forehead.

"It'll be a hustle again. I'm so broken already, I can't do this. " Jimin said softly, his voice timid and full of pain.
"So what? You're hustling now, hustle for the things that give you happiness. What's the worst that could happen? The songs flop? That's all." Jungkook said softly while caressing his back.
"It's not about that. I just don't want to lose myself again. I lost myself when I left music, then I became whatever I'm now, I don't want to lose myself again. It hurts, Jungkook. I'm just trying to make it through.." Jimin closed his eyes as he spoke, his voice beginning to sound strained as he held back tears.

"Not a lot of people have believed in me. When I was depressed and struggling, I've dealt with life all alone. And I don't blame anyone for it because I know I pushed people away but it's not that I didn't want them. I did it till I changed, when I look in the mirror I don't know who that man is. " Jimin said while holding him and Jungkook held him tighter.
"And now I have you, my parents, the hyungs. But I ruined myself...I can't do anything right anymore because I ruined myself. I know you guys believe in me but I don't anymore. I just don't want to start over.. " Jimin looked up, defeated. His eyes begging for help. As if his soul wanted to escape this reality and Jungkook felt it.

"You know who you are. You do. That's why it hurts." Jungkook said cupping his face while Jimin shook his head in denial.
"And you didn't ruin yourself. You shielded yourself. There's a difference." Jungkook said holding him close and Jimin looked up at him as the words suddenly made so much sense.
"I won't let you fall when you put your guard down. None of us will. And I am not saying do it now or it's never. Whatever you choose. I am going to stand by you. If you don't want to start over, I'm here. If you do, I'm here." Jungkook smiled at him, then kissed his lips.

Jimin smiled, looked down and nodded. He hugged Jungkook tightly then kissed his neck.
"Will you sleep with me?" Jimin asked sweetly and rubbed his nose against Jungkook's.
"Just sleep?" Jungkook teased him, and slapped his ass gently.
"Ooo. Maybe we could even cuddle!" Jimin chuckled and Jungkook blinked twice.

"Okay. But I'm the small spoon today." Jungkook pouted and Jimin laughed hard.
"Sure. Let's go!" Jimin said wrapping his legs around Jungkook's waist, who chuckled and easily held him up with one arm with the other he grabbed his phone, texted Jin he was staying the night then ran off with Jimin to his room.

"Babe.. Wait.." Jin panted as he grabbed his phone.
"Jungkook is staying the night with Jimin.." He said and kept his phone back on the table, Namjoon smiled in his neck while he picked up where he was. Busy thrusting into him. Jin was trying his best not to scream, while in the other room Hoseok and Yoongi slept soundly holding each other. Meanwhile in Jimin's apartment, he was struggling to spoon his tall boyfriend who simply laughed at his cuteness.

So, you could say, although super stressful it turned out to be a good night for them all.

Author's note:

So...I have been thinking about my sexuality a lot. And it's not a fun experience because it's giving me a weird sense of anxiety for some reason...