always ending the night together

twenty-three

Christian's POV

"Bro, I've been up since 8 am and it's 10:30. Quit bitching about being exhausted," Clinton scoffs. "What did you even do last night?"

As soon as he asked that Mitchel walks in, evident on his face that he was annoyed. The thing is Mitchel hates waking up alone when he was with somebody the night before. He woke up without me beside him. I know that's why he's annoyed this morning. Mitchel is more exhausted than me by far. I did my job right. Clinton glanced over at me and gave me a 'seriously' kind of look. I slightly nod and he gets up and leaves. Typical Clinton to just walk out when he knows something is about to go down. And it was.

"Morn-," I tried to say but Mitchel cut me off. He's really mad this time.

"You know I love waking up next to you. You know that. You just left me. No morning cuddles. Or slight kisses. None of that. Nothing. Just cold sheets and myself. You know I hate that. Why? Why did you leave this morning?." Mitchel said quickly in one breath.

"You love waking up next to me?," I repeated with a slight smirk on my face. As I moved closer, I pulled him to me by then hem of his my tshirt.

"That's what you got out of this?" He pushed me but I didn't move anywhere. "Of course, I do."

I cupped his cheeks and pulled him into a slow and passionate kiss. I can feel Mitchel smiling into the kiss. He's so fucking cute. I start to pull away but he grabs my bottom lip with his to make me stay. "Can we go back to your room, please?"

*ding*
*ding*
*ding*
*ding*
*ding*

My phone buzzing with messages that broke us apart.

new messages from Jordan Knight

Jordan Knight
morning🙂
are you up yet?
wake up my boy pls
tell him to call me thx

"You probably should call your girlfriend." I show him the messages from Jordan. I leave him with my phone and head back to my room. Mitchel following behind because I can hear his footsteps. my boy stung. I won't let him know. As I got into my room, I go into my bathroom to finish getting dressed. From the corner of my eye, I see Mitchel sat on my bed looking at me.

"Kras, you can't be mad at me for this."

"I'm not mad."

"But you're feeling some type of way though. I know you are. Just tell me."

"You're right. I am. My night and morning was great. I had you underneath me screaming my name last night. This morning you were upset that I couldn't cuddle you. We just had that sweet kiss. And then reality hits me in the face via text message."

"Christian.."

"No listen to me. We're not together. We can't be. And we never will be. God why do I keep coming back to you. I can't. No more and it's for real this time. You focus on Jordan and our music. I'll do the same about the music. Who knows with Chad but there won't be an us. Maybe in the future when or if we're both single." I can see his head is turning and taking everything I'm saying. He wants me to say it loud and clear.

He walks over to me and looks directly in my eyes. "What are you saying? I want to be on the same page here." He lifts himself onto counter shifting himself so I'm between his legs. Mitchel reaches his hands out to rub up and down my arms. "Go on tell me."

"We're, I'm not doing this anymore. I can't keep fucking you  knowing your fucking Jordan. Or that Chad is fucking me and vice versa. And I'm sorry this sounds vulgar but it is. Mitchel we're being dumb."

"What we have is completely different that what we have with Chad and Jordan. And you know it. Christian look at me. I love you. Always have. Always will."

"If what we have is so different than why aren't we together? No Chad. No Jordan. I've said I wanted you. I can't do that if Jordan is still around. I can easily break things off with Chad. You can't do the same with Jordan." I was done in the bathroom so I walked out to make my bed. Mitchel hopping down to follow me.

"I don't know what to do. I can't loose you, Christian."

Mitchel moves over to me and wraps his arms around me. He's hugging me so tightly that I felt my heart sink. I don't want to hurt him but it's for the best. I'm trying to protect my heart and his. I'm always the bad guy. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.

"I'm not going anywhere. We just can have an intimate relationship anymore." I hear silent sniffles from him. He's crying. I hate making him cry but I can't keep hurting. "Bab- Mitchel please don't cry. You're going to break my heart even more than I already am."

"I don't want this." He says through sobs. "Please don't do this to us."

I picked Mitchel up and he instantly wrapped his legs around me. His grip around me was tight as if he didn't want to let me go. Once we got to his room down the hall, I set him down on his bed.

"Come to me when you're ready and absolutely done with Jordan. Then there can really be an us." I kissed the top of his head and walked out of his room. My heart hurt. My body ached. Everything felt weak and wrong. Am I making the right decision?

*ding*

chadmichaels sent you a message

chadmichaels
morning handsome
I'm at the store down the street

thechristiananthony
see you soon handsome
can you get some wine coolers?

chadmichaels
yeah, see you soon