New Recruits (A WangXian ff) ✔

17

Lifting up the gun with impossible slowness, Wei Ying took in a shaky breath to try and calm his pounding heart. The metal felt heavy and icy cold in his hands, as if being weighed down by the choice he had to make. The words repeated themselves in his head and he turned the weapon on himself, his eyes looking right into the gun, right where the bullet would shoot from.

"I die... they live."

"That's the deal. Look at you, all ready to die. Wei Wuxian, nothing would be lost if you did, after all, that's what you want right? To be the hero. But there is also a debt you believe has to be re-payed. Why not now? You may seem like the perfect person to most but the truth is dark and dangerous, isn't it? You work so hard to hope that one day you can save people, to relieve the guilt of the life you stole. You stole! Alpha? That's not right. You're weak. No, you trained yourself in all types of combat to distract yourself, to have hope of safety in the future, but you have seen the way they looked at you. You weren't their hope and saviour, no, you were their enemy. Their target. That target seems to follow you, doesn't it? And everybody except you gets hurt. You're a bad person, Wei Wuxian... and this is your time time to-"

"No." Wei Ying spoke quietly and lifted up the gun further.

"No! I am not a bad person. I am not a bad person, you're just that stupid voice that won't go away and it kills me! And it's not my fault that she died. I wasn't the one that pulled the goddamn trigger!"

Wei Ying ended his speech and turned the gun on his mother, tears in his eyes and his whole body shaking. He aimed the gun at her heart and placed his finger onto the trigger.

"You're already dead..." he whispered, "I'm sorry mama."

With a deep breath, Wei Ying looked right into his mother's eyes and pulled the trigger. The bullet went right to its target, and Wei Ying watched as his mother's body slumped forwards on the chair, her hair covering her lifeless brown eyes. Wei Ying sobbed and fell to his knees once more, grief overcoming his body. He allowed himself a moment of sorrow before turning his head to the pair tied up. But even though he blinked several times to remove tears, he didn't seen them. He frowned as he looked all around the room, confused at what was happening. And when he looked back at his mother's body, she was nowhere to be found either.

A crash from behind him made him spin around to a standing position and lift up his gun once more, aiming it at the intruder. As the doors swung open, Wei Ying's eyes widened as he saw Lan Zhan enter, looking unharmed, alive and concerned.

"Wei Ying, it's over. Put the gun down." Lan Zhan spoke calmly.

Wei Ying didn't put the gun down. He looked over Lan Zhan's neat hair and black uniform that wasn't covered in blood. He saw the lack of cuts on his face and the pain-free eyes. Mostly pain-free: they seemed pained, when he looked at Wei Ying who was shaking on the spot.

"It's over. The exam is done. It was all a test." he said slowly.

"Lan Zhan..." Wei Ying whispered as he lowered the gun; the older took this as a sign to move a step closer.

Wei Ying looked once more around the room and something shifted back in place in his head, remembering that this was all a test. As quick as a flash, he dropped the gun to the floor, ran at Lan Zhan, and hugged him as if his life depended on it. Lan Zhan reacted immediately and slowly wrapped his arms around the younger, not wanting to freak him out any more than he was right now.

"It's all over?"

"Hm."

"It was all a test."

"Hm."

"Jiang Cheng is okay?"

"Yes."

"And you're okay?" Wei Ying asked as he tightened his grip even more.