Love Lessons | WinTeam [Complete]

"why should i keep feeling if he doesn't care?"

I recommend listening to my playlist on Spotify called "sad kpop songs for when you are depressed and need a hug" While reading this chapter.

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Team's POV

My eyes opened as the morning light shone onto my eyes. I looked to my left and saw Pharm laying there, asleep. He was still holding my hand.

I looked at the time, and it was already 8:00 am in the morning. I wondered if I had slept so well because Pharm was holding my hand all night. I grabbed my phone, which was on the bedside table.

I stared blankly at the black screen, my finger over the button that would light up the screen. No matter how many times I told myself to press it, I just couldn't. After fighting with the physical urge to not press the button, I turned the screen on.

No missed calls, no texts, no voicemails. Part of me was happy, but the other half was breaking. I was happy because I was too scared to talk to him. But I was hurt.

He really doesn't care anymore...

I threw my phone onto the bed and closed my eyes. My heart, at that moment, hurt more than anything. I held back the tears that were building up behind my tightly shut eyelids. I wanted to stop feeling. My feelings were nothing to him anymore. He wouldn't run to hug me if I was crying. He would look away, and walk. Farther and farther. Why should I keep feeling if he doesn't care?

I forced myself to stop feeling broken, and soon, the feeling of nothing returned. It was empty, but it was better than being filled with useless hope.

I, once again, stared blankly at the ceiling. After minutes which seemed like hours, I stopped looking at the ceiling.

I looked at Pharm, whose hand had fallen and now dangled, and thought of all the times he's had to see me in this state of heartbreak. I felt sorry for him because he's had to take care of me so many times.

I sat up in my bed and got out of bed. I put on the slippers next to the bed and walked my backpack. I grabbed my black hoodie and put it on over the patterned hospital clothes. I walked out of the hospital room, and put my hood over my head. I reached the balcony for the patients and walked over to the rail. I sat down on the bench, and put my hands into my pockets.

There was no one there. The hospital seemed particularly empty today while I was walking to the balcony. I sighed and felt the cold breeze fly past my face. I knew that I would have to force myself to feel nothing, even though I didn't want to. The pain was too terrible. I couldn't just live with that pain. I have to get rid of these feelings or else the pain won't go away.

I got up and leaned against the rail. My hood still over my face, I closed my eyes. I allowed my emotions to overflow my brain, and then I screamed at them. I banned them from entering my brain, and they left, leaving me with nothing.

A strong breeze blew past and knocked my hood off. I looked back at the balcony and saw the leaves and dust blow around in the wind. I looked to my right and saw someone approach. It was the last person I wanted to see. That certain yellow-haired boy. I couldn't feel a thing. Not even as he walked towards me. No stinging, no butterflies. Just... Just nothing.

Once he reached me, I stared with no facial expression. I knew that there was nothing I could do. I had emptied myself of emotions. There was nothing left for me to feel.