Guarded Heart (The GH Series)

Chapter Thirty-Seven

"Are you okay babe?"

I had made my way back to the picnic bench and sat back down. "Actually, yeah. That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be to be fair."

"Do you think you got the closure you needed?" Enquired Sarah.

"She apologised in the manner I found out, but wouldn't apologise for exposing the..." I air quoted the next part. "Truth."

"She only exposed part of it because she only knew a snippet of the truth." Ashley became a little defensive.

"We know. At least you can leave it behind you now Callie." Fiona spoke up and looked at Ashley to try and stop her from flipping out a little.

"I know. I feel drained."

Truth be told, I'm exhausted. Dealing with these emotions this weekend, good and bad is starting to knock the stuffing out of me and I don't know if I can keep smiling when all I want to do is curl up in a ball and crash out.

"Let's head. We've decided we are having a barbecue at Ashley's since the weather is nice." Sarah stood up first and we all followed suit.

"Sounds good. But would you all mind if I took a nap when we get back?"

Ashley took me into her arms and gave me a squeeze. "Well, we I'll walk you back to mine, you can nap, and we can pop out and get what we need for the barbecue."

"Sounds good." I know that I need to get out of my head and tried to focus on the positivity flowing through our group.

We chatted, laughed and genuinely had a lovely walk back to Ashley's. I knew they were worried about me, but I was just feeling emotionally and physically drained and in dire need of some sleep. After all, every waking moment so far has been showing Ashley how I feel about her.

"Have a good kip bud. We will wake you when the barbecue is ready, that sound okay to you?" I looked over at Sarah and nodded.

I left their presence and went upstairs and flopped down on the bed. "Are you sure you are okay babe?"

"I am. I promise. I think the last few days have finally caught up on me and I'm exhausted."

Ashley kissed me sweetly on top of my head as my eyes battled to stay awake. "Sweet dreams babe."

Several hours later

"Cal...wake up baby..."

"mmm. No." I heard Ashley chuckle, but it was one of those moments where I was battling to open my eyes.

"You have to, food is ready."

"Food?" Then the smell of the barbecue hit my nostrils and my eyes pinged open. "FOOD!"

"You are honestly too cute. Let's go."

I joined my friends in Ashley's back garden to the spread of the freshly made barbecue circulating in the air. "Hello sleepy head. Are you okay?" Sarah looked over and her face was a mixture of concern and hope.

"Better now thanks. I needed that. I don't think I even moved a muscle." I stretched and grabbed a bottle of water, drinking half of it in one go.

"You didn't. You were still in the same position that I left you in."

Fiona looked at me and I gave her a warm smile. "Well it sounded like you needed it Cal."

"I did. So, what's cooking now?" The girls laughed and joked with me as we continued to enjoy our barbecue together.

Sarah

"They look really cute together, don't they Fiona?"

Fiona looked up to see what I was talking about. Clearly, I was talking about Callie and Ashley. They were sitting side by side on the deck together and Callie leaned in and Ashley grabbed her face playfully and kissed her.

"Yeah they do. HAW!! You two!! Less PDA and more drinking!!" That made me burst out with laughter and Callie turned to look at Fiona.

"Just because you are jealous..."

"Well who wouldn't be of what you two have?"

Callie

I noticed that Sarah's face had gone from a smile to her hurt/thinking face. I knew I had to go and talk to her. "Excuse me babe, I need to speak to Sarah, she is in that stupid zone."

Ashley looked over in Sarah's direction and nodded at me. I made my way towards Sarah and glared at her with my hands on my hips. "What?"

"Come with me a moment?" We walked around the yard and out to the front steps. "What is going on in that beautiful mind of yours?"

"We have had so much fun this weekend Callie. Well you mainly as you managed to get your girl, but when we get home, it's the week of the wedding."

I knew she was head over heels in love with her ex and the truth is going to come spilling out soon enough, but I have to support my friend right now. "I know. But it's time for you to let your heart heal and move on aswell babe."

"Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep my mouth shut when I realised who she was marrying?"

I nodded. "I know. I was shocked myself, but everything happens for a reason."

"I know. But she's marrying...."

I put up my hand. I can't bear to hear his name being said out loud. "I'm aware of who she is marrying Sarah."

"I don't want to spoil this weekend, but I get my resentment towards him for stealing her away, but I don't get your resentment towards him."

I feel the bile rise in my throat and I quickly swallow it back down. "I think you do. After all you weren't fond of Ashley when you heard my version of events." I tried deflecting but I'm aware that my best friend isn't stupid.

"True, but I also know you. You are withholding something from me."

I bowed my head. I didn't want this coming out, not this weekend, but if it has to, then so be it. "Yes I am. But if it's going to come out, I'd rather be open and honest with you all."

"Well do you want to head back around and we can get support from the girls?"

I looked at Sarah and she can tell that I'm about to release something into the atmosphere that I'm going to need the people I trust around me. "I'm going to need the support, that's for sure."

We gave each other a hug and made our way back round to the back yard and joined Ashley and Fiona again. Ashley's face lit up when she seen me, but it quickly disappeared. She knows that look. She knows something is going on.

"Sarah and I were talking out front..."

"I'm struggling with the thought of going home because my ex is getting married this week."

Ashley and Fiona looked at us both. "I can see why that is tough." Fiona sounded sympathetic and if I weren't so emotionally charged up, I would confront Fiona about her underlying feelings towards Sarah that I can see building.

"But it is about who she is marrying that is causing me concern. Yes, Alistair stole her from me, which I now see that she was never really truly mine." Sarah said in a little deflated voice.

"However, there is a connection between Alistair and I..."

I felt sick suddenly. I've only ever spoke about this to my therapist and looking at the eyes staring back at me, I knew it was time. I have to open up and move forward, even further forward.

"When I was in the hospital, I told Sarah and Jamie that my downward spiral started when I was twelve years old."

"We thought it was because of Amanda. When Callie said that, we realised it ran deeper. Callie has never explained it to me or to anyone else apart from her therapist, until now."

I'm thankful for Sarah's support and I closed my eyes briefly and started talking. "Alistair...was..."

Ashley

My heart is in my throat here, waiting for Callie to open up. I just want to hug her and say she doesn't need to spill it all out, but from the look on her face, I know she clearly needs to and wants to.