Guarded Heart (The GH Series)

Chapter Eight

"No..."

I was thrashing about in the bed. My nightmare is here again. It is always the same nightmare. The day that Amanda died in my arms and it plays out the same every single time.

"I...love you Cal, always have..."

"Don't you dare do that!! You are not saying goodbye to me, do you hear me?"

"It hurts Cal..." whispered Amanda whilst biting back the tears.

"Just hold on baby, help is on the way. I promise you."

It is always the same. Reliving Amanda's death and feeling powerless to stop it.

"Cal?"

"Yes baby? I was looking at the light diminishing from her yes.

"When it is time, find someone who you...can love unconditionally."

"No...Don't you fucking dare Amanda. YOU are my unconditional love." She reached up and touched my face gently as the tears streamed down my face.

"I will never regret loving you babe. You gave me everything I wanted and more..." A small smile appeared on her face.

"Stop. Stop this. You are going to make it Amanda." My heart was breaking and the biting back my sobs.

"I can see my grandad..."

"No. Tell him you are not ready babe...PLEASE!!" I broke. My sobs becoming louder.

"I..." I watched her smile and the tear slipped from her eye. "Love you." Amanda then closed her eyes and the smile faded from her face. I roared out in distress.

My Amanda, gone.

Ashley

I woke up with a startle. I swear I can hear sobbing and roaring and then I remembered that Callie was in the next room.

I immediately hopped out of bed and since I had left her door ajar earlier, I could see the tears streaming down her face and looked like she was rocking herself in her sleep.

"Callie...?" No response.

So, I went into her room and touched her shoulder slightly. "Callie, are you okay?"

Her eyes flew open and she simply nodded and then turned away from me. I sat on the edge of the bed looking at her and she let out a sore sob.

"Callie...talk to me sweetie."

"It was just a nightmare. It is okay. Sorry to have disturbed you."

The ache in her voice was evident and I knew it was so much more than a nightmare.

"A nightmare? Oh hun...I shall leave you be."

I played it safe, I did not want to say what I really wanted to say. I gave her a reassuring rub on her shoulder and her hand touched mine. I tried to pull away, but I could not.

"Ash?" Her voice was very broken, and it was pulling at my heart.

"Yeah?"

"Can you hold me. Please?"

My heart was breaking for her. "Sure. Now scoot over a bit so I can get in."