Callie
"Alistair was my abuser." I sighed. "He used to babysit for myself and my little sister. My parents trusted and loved him like he was one of their own, like a son they never had."
I could feel all their eyes on me which gave me the courage to continue. "It wasn't completely sexual, but he said if I didn't comply with what he wanted, he would go after Kacey."
"How long did it go on for?" Probably not the question Ashley wants to really ask me, but I know she is trying to put together a timeline in her head right now.
"It went on for a few weeks. I cracked and became rebellious and stood up to him. Although the usual threat was there, tell anyone, he would hurt Kacey."
Silence engulfed the back yard. "Did you tell your parents?" Fiona was the first one to break the silence.
"I did."
"Let me guess. They didn't believe you?" Ashley was sounding a little pissed off, I knew it wasn't aimed at me.
"No. He was their blue-eyed boy. I was trouble and of course when I came out, it was like, well it couldn't have happened if you are into girls."
"That's a pretty sick way of looking at it." Ashley had stepped a little closer to me.
"I feel sick just thinking about it." I closed my eyes, hoping that I wouldn't see any flashbacks.
"What happened after you told your parents?" Fiona looked at me, I could see she wanted to engulf me into a hug.
"I came out at young age, not long after I told them about Alistair...inappropriately touching me. But I rebelled heavily, and I met Amanda when I was fifteen.
It was then I started to calm down. Her family were awesome and looking in from the outside, a family I craved for since my family chose to believe Alistair over me."
"Losing Amanda, the way you did, tipped you over the edge again." Ashley hit the nail on the head straight away.
"It did and well you know I went bonkers, done drugs, hung out with the wrong crowd and all that. Until Sarah here intervened and I got clean.
Coming to Glasgow this year, after another relapse, it was a breath of fresh air."
"But..." Trust my girlfriend to see the but in mostly everything.
"That night when I heard Jaz say that I had been played with..." I gulped hard. "It was a term that Alistair used. That triggered me again and I ran from everything." I looked at Ashley with tears in my eyes. "I ran from you. I never in a million years wanted to hurt you by running, it's the only way I knew how to cope. I'm sorry."
"Don't you dare apologise. It all makes perfect sense now, but I am still at fault as well."
Ashley walked further into my personal space and held out her arms, which I gladly stepped into. Her arms enveloped me and there in that moment, I felt the safest I had ever done. "Jeez, this has been an emotional rollercoaster of a weekend."
"I'm so damn proud of you baby." Ashley whispered quietly in my ear and I nodded.
"Wait a minute, you're a lesbian Sarah?"
We all looked at Fiona, who clearly was playing catch up with our revelations.
"I am. I identify with that, but like I said to you before, we fall for the person, not the gender."
Fiona was dumbstruck. Shaking her head as we all sat back down together. "Fiona and I were chatting whilst you two were out the front. We are going to drive up on Friday night after worker and come and see you both."
"Here is an idea, let's gate crash a wedding..." I have never seen a mischievous side to Fiona, but I'm loving her idea. Sarah burst out laughing.
"Thanks for that Fiona, but no need to cause mischief."
***
Later that evening as Ashley and I were lying in bed. I knew she was going to ask the same question every time that I go quiet.
"Are you okay babe? It has been a bit of an offloading weekend hasn't it?"
"I am. I actually feel like a huge weight has been lifted out of my head and off my shoulders." I looked at my amazing girlfriend, knowing I'm so damn lucky to have her in my life.
"Do you fancy a tight squeeze from me tonight? I think we are both shattered."
"I would love that babe." I turned to look at Ashley. "You know I love you, right?"
"Of course, I do. I love you too."
I touched her face gently and I knew my facial expression had changed from serious to soft and I could feel my eyes glazing over. "I mean Ashley, I really love you. You are my world and it's going to suck leaving you tomorrow."
"I know, but the plus side is that in four days' time we will be back in each other's arms and trying to be quiet as we mess about in your room."
I broke into a grin. "Head out the gutter love."
"Can't help it, it's what you do to me."
I gave Ashley a soft kiss and turned over, prompting her to give me a tight squeeze. We both succumbed to sleep rather quickly, both in desperate need of sleep.
***
Goodbyes are always hard, aren't they? We were all standing around outside Fiona's saying our goodbyes. We each said goodbye to one another and then I was left alone with Ashley. "I'm really going to miss you."
Ashley couldn't hold her tears in. "I'm sorry, I'm a blubbering mess. I'm going to miss you so damn much babe."
"Just remember, four days and I get to kiss that gorgeous mouth of yours again." Ashley nodded her head and my heart felt like it was breaking.
I planted a teary goodbye kiss on Ashley's mouth, tasting our tears and the slipped into my car. "Ready?"
"Not really but needs must." With that I looked in my rear-view mirror and watched Fiona console an upset Ashley. "I don't think I'm going to stay in Dornoch much long Sarah, this is too damn hard."
"I didn't think you would. Your heart is here."
"This is killing me Sarah." I'm biting back the tears, trying to focus on the road ahead.
"I know babe. You are holding back. What is it?"
"I'm in love with her. Hook, line and sinker." I let out a small sob.
"Oh sweetie, anyone can see that."
"I have to work out when I can move back to Glasgow. They are up this weekend, I need to see about a transfer and say my final goodbyes to Amanda."
Seeing Sarah look at me from the corner of my eye she was realising it was close. "Her anniversary is coming up soon isn't it?"
"It is. I'm going this one last time. She has brought Ashley to me and I can't keep crying on her grave anymore. It wouldn't be fair on Ashley."
"She will understand babe." I was actually shocked that came out of Sarah's mouth. I know she has been on the fence about the whole life after death thing.
"I really hope so."
YOU ARE READING
Guarded Heart (The GH Series)
RomanceCallie lost love at a young age and chose a path she was never meant to follow. Callie is now 26 years old and her life has been disastrous since she lost someone close to her at the tender age of 19. Starting somewhere new is always going to be ha...