Spectacular Love

Chapter 23

Promise

"Tama ba 'yong narinig ko, Tinay?" Jacob asked and pursed his lips in frustration.

Hindi ako nakagalaw agad sa kinatatayuan ako. I saw Ace slowly went out of my room and went out of our condo, leaving me with him. Jacob walked towards me. His eyes were bloodshot.

That's why I didn't want him to find out, dahil alam kong masasaktan na naman siya and pagod na akong makita siyang nasasaktan tapos ako pa 'yong dahilan.

"Aalis ka papuntang States?" he asked, shocked. I looked away and bit my lower lip.

"H-hindi pa naman ako sure, e," I denied. My lips were trembling. I felt my chest tightened as Jacob stopped a few inches away from me. He looked down to meet my eyes.

"But you were considering?" He asked and scoffed.

"I–"

"Kailan pa?" he asked, cutting me off.

"Since we started our freshman year," I said, and my gaze went down to my feet. I couldn't look straight into his eyes, nasasaktan lang ako. "That was before everything happened. I just planned that so I could give you and Mara some privacy, because obviously, you can't always be there for me and her at the same freaking time. Girlfriend mo siya at best friend mo lang ako noon. Iyon ang balak ko noon dahil ayaw kong makasagabal sa relasyon ninyong dalawa. You clearly knew how Mara hated me, because she thinks that I was in love with you–"

"But you are, right?" he asked, provoking me.

"I was!" I shouted. "That's why I was planning to leave for States! Because I want to move on from my unrequited love for you. I wanted to forget my feelings for you. Sigurado ako noon na siya iyong papakasalan mo, leaving me with no choice but to move on on my own!"

"That isn't true!" sigaw niya pabalik. "I haven't even thought of marrying her, not even once! Alam kong nagseselos sa 'yo si Mara, but you should have also known that I didn't care about that because you are my best friend! At kung mag-break man kami dahil sa 'yo, okay lang sa akin dahil mas pipiliin kita!" Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya at maging siya ay nagulat doon.

He looked away from me.

"I will always choose you over anything, Tinay. Kahit pa hindi ko alam noon ang totoo kong nararamdaman para sa 'yo," he continued. Mas kalmado na siya ngayon.

"Liar," I blurted out which made him look at me.

"You cried when she broke up with you. You were so broken at kulang na lang ay magmakaawa ka sa kaniya na balikan ka! I saw how devasted you were when that happened. Kaya huwag mong sasabihin sa akin ngayon na kahit mawala siya sa 'yo ay okay lang! And how sure are you na sa akin okay lang iyon? Iyong maging rason ng paghihiwalay niyo! Sa tingin mo ba matutuwa ako roon?" Sa inis ko ay hindi ko na napigilan ang pagsigaw nang mas malakas.

"Tinay–" He tried to reach for my hand. 

"No!" I cut him off. "Don't fucking touch me! How can you say that to me? Alam mo kung paano kita sinamahan noong naghiwalay kayo! Alam mo kung gaano kasakit para sa akin ang makita kang umiyak nang dahil kay Mara! Alam mo 'yon, Jacob! So, paano mo nasasabi 'yan sa akin ngayon?" Pinunasan ko ang mga luhang patuloy na sa pagbuhos. 

"At oo! Malamang sa malamang ako pa rin ang rason kung bakit siya nakipag-break sa 'yo at kung bakit kinailangan niyang umalis at lumipad papuntang London. Ako iyong totoong dahilan, 'di ba? Kasi iniisip pa rin niya noon na mahal kita at putangina, oo! Minahal nga kita!"

He remained silent. Like all of my rants and frustrations completely shut him up.

"Pero kahit mahal na mahal kita, tiniis ko 'yang punyetang sakit na 'yan kapag araw araw ko kayong nakikitang magkasama. Tiniis ko lahat 'yon at hindi ako gumawa ng kahit na ano para maghiwalay kayo kasi tangina, masaya ka sa kaniya, e! Sobrang saya mo kapag siya 'yong kasama mo... anong laban ko?" My voice broke when I said the last phrase.