East

Chapter 27

"Let's talk," seryosong sabi niya.

I calmly sat and started overthinking — hindi dahil sa kaba at sa seryosong tono ng boses niya. I just knew that I'm not with my usual self. I'm stressed out!

Takot akong baka mali ang mga masabi ko at lalo lamang lumala ang kung ano mang nasa pagitan namin ngayon.

Ayokong pag-usapan ang nangyari sa 'min ng gan'to ako. Wrong timing Lui! Kailangan ko pa naman ng makakausap ngayon to consult myself about the decisions I make for my life.

Halos sumakit na ng tuluyan ang ulo ko nang hindi pa rin siya umaalis kahit na halata naman sa tingin ko na ayaw kong pag-usapan so my gaze remained darting towards her direction emitting such pleasing eyes, mentally praying na sana makuha siya ng tingin ko.

Sana lang talaga, kaya lang halata ang irita sa muka niya. Fine, I get her naman, miski ako gusto ko nang magkaayos kami, but no one's gonna talk in this state! Magulo ang utak ko.

Defeated, I had to beg, "Please I don't—" but she cut me off almost immediately.

"C'mere I'll give you a hug."

Iyon ang hindi ko inaasahan kaya bakas sa muka ko ang gulat nang ipalupot niya ang braso niya sa leeg ko at yakapin.

God, instant reliever ba ang yakap niya? My heart suddenly become calmer.

I let out a sigh as I inhaled her scent.

I miss her.

Habang masuyo niyang hinahaplos ang buhok ko ay naramdaman ko nanaman ang tibok ng puso niya. Mabilis. This time I really felt how rapid it raced and how hard it was pounding.

"I'm still your bestfriend. I knew when you're sad about many things." I got worried the way her heart beats, parang anytime lalabas sa ribcage niya. "I don't want to see you that scared, Ae.

"You're getting there, you've been away from home — tiniis ko ring hindi ka makita araw-araw sa balcony? Sinanay mo akong nando'n ka every morning — tapos one day, you wanted to chase your dreams." Tuloy-tuloy na sabi niya.

Oh God Lui — she was there when I told my parents na gusto kong umalis sa North because I don't want media all over me...questioning why I didn't follow the path my father takes. Walang ibang magmamana ng kumpaniya kundi ako.

And here I am, pursuing what I wanted and leaving them behind for my dreams.

I felt bad.

Pakiramdam ko nga hinayaan lang ako nila Dada pansamantala sa kung anong gusto ko then boom — ako naman pala ang mag-ha-handle ng lahat ng business niya. Mapipilitan pala akong bumalik. I'll end up like Luisia too, like Fiona and I don't want that.

We're bound to be the perfect daughter everyone expects us to.

It was scary.

"Hush." She wiped the tears I didn't know scaped from my eyes, already betraying me.

Really? I'm this emotional right now?

Hindi naman talaga ako iyaking tao pero kapag nand'yan si Lui, hindi ko lang talaga mapigilan, every damn time she comforts me ay automatic na nagiging mahina ako. The companion I always lean into, she's always there, acting as the serene one to hush me, and it's effective! Ewan ko kung sinadya ba iyon pero lagi siyang nand'yan — lagi, sa tuwing kailangan kong ng masasandalan.

Both of her thumbs dried my cheeks, also caressing it and said, "I'm still here, I never stopped believing in you. You don't have to think about that damn Talk earlier, hindi kayo parehas, you're so close to your dream profession, do you understand?"