Jacksepticeye Oneshots

He Cares

ANGST (idk why i keep writing stuff like this)

Warning: suicide attempt, depression

You were tired–so incredibly tired. For years you endured the ups and downs of depression. You pulled yourself from black moods that left you feeling numb and irritable. There were weeks that went by where you were perfectly fine, but then a sudden trigger occurred and sent you tumbling down an abyss of failed progress. There was always a breaking point and you knew it existed for you. Hell, you had come so close to breaking that finally the time came where you were more than considerate toward the idea.

One turn of the bathtub handle and you slowly grew closer to that breaking point. You were drained of all energy although you had lain in bed all day. The moment Sean left to visit friends, you took it upon yourself to let the phony smile fall and convinced yourself one last time that there was something to look forward to. As you lowered yourself into the tub, the hot water soaking the cotton of your tee, the urge to fall asleep became almost irresistible. Though you reassured Sean your need for sleep was due to work, you had waited until his leave to fuel the desire.

The water eventually filled up to the rim of the tub, and your fingers gripped at the smooth bottom as you readied yourself for the overflowing of water. It hit the tiled floor in small drops at first and then, all at once, laps of hot water pooled over the sides and onto the tile with a splash. The skin of your exposed thighs kept you stuck, so you bent your knees and let the water guide your body downward. Water sloshed aside as your weight shifted and your mouth went under. With a few panicked breaths you shut your eyes and then, with a heavy sigh, let your head slip entirely beneath. The sound of the running tap became a dull beating drum against the surface of an already filled deathbed, and you were content with the slow process and quiet workings of it.

Your lungs began burning seconds after you allowed your body to let itself slip. The sharpness of your fingernails dug into the palms of your hands as you balled your fists together. Patience was urged and you were committed to finding out just how long it would take until the noise in your head finally shut itself out. All the insecurities and replays of mistakes, all the doubt and all the blame–it swam and pushed at the wall of protection you were constantly rebuilding. You were exhausted.

The tap was shut off and your shoulders grasped by two firm hands. You inhaled the moment Sean pulled you from the tub and onto the floor with him. The two of you landed together in a pile of wet clothing. "What are you doing?" Sean asked, his voice breaking with the knowledge of your intent. A cry escaped on your behalf as Sean held you in his arms, uncaring of how his clothes stuck uncomfortably so long as you were safe and accounted for. "What were you..." Sean trailed as you clung to his torso, sorry for having him be there to see your lowest point and sorry that he would have walked in later and seen the aftermath.

It took a few minutes for your crying to cease, and then the sluggishness kicked in and you collapsed against Sean and allowed him to carry you into the bedroom. He sat you down on the foot of the bed and eased your wet shirt off before replacing it with one of his clean ones. Sean took the time to change out of his own soaked outfit and allowed you the time to slip into dry undies before you sat on the foot of the bed again. Sean eased back the wet curls of your hair and sighed, his forehead resting against yours as the quiet came to a close. "We need to get you professional help, love," he mumbled. Your eyes shut with agreement and Sean kissed your forehead before taking your hand.

The ride to the hospital was as silent as the moments in which Sean urged you to change clothes. He wasn't entirely sure how to help you, knowing the struggles you endured where moods always returned. Instead of speaking Sean held your hand as he drove and drove to the place that was more capable of saving the true happiness in you. There was more to what your illness presented. Yes, there were terrible people and thoughts and moods, but there were brilliant people and joys in life that you would have to stick around to witness. Choosing to acknowledge and move on from the pain would provide little moments of joy. They would come repeatedly and to those who waited.

He cares PERIOD. 

Thanks for reading <3