Beautifully Chaotic

Chapter 15

My road to recovery hasn't been long but it also hasn't been fun.

Being half dead had it's perks. I stand up tall as I glance at myself in the mirror. The pale blue dress is floor length and lacks straps. My hair is curled with a flower crown on my head.

Nadia had done me up with all the works. She kept my face natural thankfully.

"Are you ready?" Dylan asks me as my posture falls slightly. The scratches on my abdomen are the worst. "I'm ready." I tell him as worry fills his eyes.

He tilts my chin up softly and looks into my eyes before kissing my lips softly. "The pack is anxious about the initiation. The twins have proven themselves very trustworthy." He tells me as I fix his shirt.

"I suppose they should be." I tell him with a soft smile as I pat his chest and sit down on the bed.

My mother had found the herb but it is taking ages for the toxin to leave my body. Dylan kneels before me and looks at me.

"What?" I ask softly. He pushes up my dress softly and I keep my eyes on him as he unwraps the bandage. 

"It's much better today." He informs. My eyes flicker  down to the three marks on my thigh that are slowly healing. The veins around it are slowly turning back to normal, which is good. 

He wraps it back up gently and pulls my dress back over my leg. If anyone would see this, anyone from outside of the pack, like an alpha or beta, that didn't know of our situation, they would think he is weak for kneeling in front of me. Alpha dont kneel, but my alpha is different.

He stands up and extends his arm to me. I gratefully take it and stand up as well.

We make our way to the initiatiom grounds which is also the training grounds. We make our way up the stairs that lead to the stage and stand in front of the pack. I won't show them my pain.

I will not be a weak luna.

I notice Amara and Thomas in the front row. They are still here?

My eyes meet Amaras and her eyes hold sadness as she assesses me. She senses the change.

I suppose the miscarriage was a good thing. If that wouldn't have happened than durely the toxin would have...I look down and clear my thoughts.

The twins walk up to the stage and kneel before us. If it is not an alpha or luna that is being initiated than they must kneel, which is odd.

He starts the ceremony and I stand there tall and proud that this is my pack and my mate.  They are all like family. I have dozens of get well gifts from them.

As the ceremony gets to the final step Dylan looks to me and nods.

I step forward and kneel in front of them tucking my feet under me like them. "If you would be so kind." I tell them as I extend my hands to them.

They each place a hand in mine and I close my eyes. Dylan wanted me to make sure, just one last time, that they are not a threat. They consented.

I feel my mind wander theirs. Their happiness, sadness, trials, love. I feel like an invader. I am pulled out when I get done and suck in a breat of air. "Luna." She whsipers softly and wipes at her nose.

I touch under my nose and notice blood. I wasn't strong enough to do that and I knew it.

I wink at her and put a finger to my lips keeping my head down slightly as I wipe the blood from my nose.

Dylan comes over and helps me up, "I'm fine." I whisper as his eyes hold mine searching for any lies.

He nods before letting go of me reluctantly. He finishes the ceremony promptly, it ends with cheers of happiness and I smile as they come up and congratulate the new members of our pack.

Some look my way and I can practically smell their curiosity.

I make my way inside quickly, I know they all have questions, but I can't answer them. I lean against the counter in the kitchen and take a breath.

"Rosie." I curse under my breath before standing up straight. "Yes, Luna Amara, how can I help you?" I ask my tone emotionless.

"What's with the formalities? I thought we were friends." She tells me her face looks taken aback.

I don't answer her as she looks at me with the same curiosity as the pack. "How can I help you?" I repeat softly.

I dont feel good. The scratches on my stomach sting, I think I overdid it today. My first time out of the room and I stood for hours. My weak muscles, that laid bedridden for months, my stomach that is practically ripped open and healing slowly, my stupid thigh and I stood for hours.

"I just want to see if you're ok." She tells me softly. "I'm fine." I repeat for the hundreth time that day.

"I'm sorry." She tells me. "For what?" I ask as I face her. "For your baby." She replies her tone soft. I feel my body tense. I may jot have been ready, but the loss is still fresh.

"Did you kill it? Did you send that thing after me? Did you poison me? Did you turn me into this weak hybrid bitch that snaps at people" I ask my tone sharp as my frustration floods out through my words.

"Well, no, but..." she starts, "then you have nothing to be sorry for."

"Rosie, you aren't weak." She tells me as she moves closer to me. I take a step back. "Then what is this?! I am not healing, I am not being a good luna, I am being nothing. This is my pity party, if you aren't here to be apart of it, then leave, until it ends." I growl out. I can feel my eyes flash.

I feel liquid run down my abdomen and I look down.

The stitches broke and now I'm bleeding, dark liquid seeps through the light fabric.

"Excuse me." I tell her as concern flashes through her eyes as she runs out of the house.

I walk up the stairs slowly as my head becomes dizzy and my breathing becomes erratic.

I try to unzip the dress but it won't budge. "Rosie?" I hear Dylan come up behind me. "Take it off." I mumble. "What?" He asks. "Take it off!" I yell as tears stream down my face.

He rips the zipper off and helps me out of it. "What happened?" He asks as he turns me around.

His eyes find the bloodied bandage and I unwrap it. "Oh shit." He growls out as he takes in my appearance. "Call the doctor." I tell him, but he is already on the phone.

I can't stop crying. I feel him pull me into his arms. "Why me." I ask as he uses his handkerchief and wipes my tears. "I don't know my love," he tells me softly as my head rests on his shoulder but my tears still fall, "I dont know."

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~scarletbride30