If You Love Me

Chapter 1

I dabbed a little extra concealer around my eye and checked it a little more. With a nod I grabbed my powder and set it. I pulled the turtleneck I had on a little higher. My roommate was showering, so I still had a couple of minutes to move around so I could get used to the aches. I limped across the room and back. After a few trips I could walk without so much as a wince or weird expression. I bent over to grab my bag and hissed.

Last night was worse than ever.

I opened the door and nearly ran into my roommate. "Oh, sorry Sara," I said backing up.

She smiled at me as she passed. "It's no problem. Don't worry about it." She sat her things down and turned to me. "I can't believe you hid it that well."

I gave her a small smile. "It's just a little makeup and the right clothes."

"Don't go tripping down the stairs again," she warned.

"Don't worry about me," I said as I walked out.

It was always the same. We never acknowledged anything, never spoke about it, and she accepted any excuse I gave her, no matter how absurd. But I knew she was aware of what was happening. She'd been my roommate for over a year for goodness' sake. There was no way she couldn't have known. I was just too ashamed to admit it to myself. I wanted to keep pretending she was blind to it all.

I hitched my bag higher and walked a little faster, hoping to avoid Josh on my way to class. I was late and I didn't need to be any later.

When I neared the door to my classroom, I saw Josh leaning on the wall. His head was bowed so he didn't see me approach him. "What are you doing here?" I asked quietly as the professor was already beginning the class.

Josh's head snapped up and he took in my face and my sweater for a long moment. "I wanted to check on you. I couldn't get last night out of my head. I'm so sorry, Jes. I promise it won't happen again."

I sighed and let him kiss me. "Okay. Now you need to get to class, babe. It won't go over well if you're late again."

"It would be nice if you would grace us with your presence, Miss Chandler," my teacher said, poking his head out of the classroom.

I felt my face heat up. "I'm coming, sir." I gave Josh a small smile and turned away. "I'll see you later." I walked into the classroom, feeling like everyone was staring at me. My hand went to my eye, but I knew they couldn't tell. Nothing was visible. They couldn't see. I've always made sure of that.

When class was over, I tried to leave right away, but the professor had other plans. "Miss Chandler," he said. "A word, please." I walked up and he sighed. "I know you love your boyfriend, but please don't skip my class or show up late for that boy. It's not worth it. Think about your grades and your future."

"He was waiting for me," I said weakly.

He frowned. "Be that as it may, I still don't appreciate you being late for him. He's not the best student or even the best of people. I would recommend not giving him too much of yourself."

I felt a surge of anger. "We've been together for over a year, sir. I don't plan on ever leaving him."

His eyebrows rose. "Is that right?"

"It is. He's a wonderful person. He's sweet to me, however he might be in other classes. I need to get to my next lesson. I'll see you tomorrow, sir." I walked out of the room. Once I was out of his sight, I leaned on a locker and took a deep, shaky breath. How dare he tell me those things. Yes, he hit me sometimes, but it was only because he loved me. He got jealous easy and I did things that made him jealous. Not on purpose, obviously. Still, I knew he only did these things because he was so scared to lose me.