If You Love Me

Chapter 5

Doesn't it always seem like rumors grow out of proportion rapidly? Someone says they think I was in the hospital for a day and suddenly they're saying I'm pregnant. Josh is gone, too, and suddenly he ran out on me. Someone also said we eloped and he's trying to find a job so we can afford a cushy apartment on the other side of town.

I had no idea how any of the rumors got started, but I did my best to give them facts when they asked me.

Are you pregnant? Not a chance.

Did Josh run out on you? I have no idea why he left.

Did you two secretly get married? Not on your life.

For two days after I came back to classes, I fended off those questions. Though I was seriously beginning to wonder if maybe he was dead. He never would have run off like this when we were in high school. He was too worried about getting good grades to even consider being late to a class, let alone skipping days of classes.

During those two days, I steadily moved everything to my new apartment and officially moved out of the dorms. I was finally free. Josh had disappeared, so I wasn't shackled by him. I was out of the dorm, so I didn't have a nosy roommate or bothersome RA to deal with.

I was free.

On the third day, Kolleen and I went out to get food after school. We'd gotten up that morning to an empty fridge. We figured it was about time to actually buy groceries. After all, we couldn't depend on being able to eat the stuff on campus every day and we couldn't always eat out, so we went to a store just off campus.

Kolleen grabbed a cart and while I was waiting for her, I felt someone watching me. I glanced around, but I didn't see anyone that could have been. Slightly weirded out, I stuck close to Kolleen. The entire time we were in the store it felt like someone was staring. It had gone beyond creepy to downright unsettling. Whether she noticed it or not, she didn't say. We just got our groceries and headed home in her car.

Once she was on the road, I spoke up. "Did you get a weird feeling while we were in there?"

"Not really. Why? Did you?"

If she didn't, maybe it was all in my head. "Um, a couple of times, but I'm sure it's fine." I looked out the window. It probably was just nothing. My imagination.

I let the subject drop. After all, there was no point in making her worry over one trip. It was probably just a guy that thought we were cute and followed us around the store. It happens a lot, I'm sure. After a day I forgot about the feeling. But I quickly remembered when I went to the store by myself.

We had forgot to grab something and I volunteered to take the bus a few blocks or so to a store. When I got on I remembered why I hated them. Buses were cramped and smelled weird. There seemed to be a guy on every bus with bad body odor and it permeated the whole thing. I sat in an open seat near the door, ready to be the first one off that thing.

I shivered. It felt like someone was watching me. I glanced around. No one stood out. After all, I was in the front and everyone was facing this way. I took a deep breath and tried to forget about it. I didn't stand out. Well, not that much. My bruises were mostly faded and my lip and head were doing better. I knew no one was staring at that.

When my stop came, I practically jumped from the bus and rushed into the store, taking deep breaths. I could smell the exhaust from the bus, but at least I couldn't smell a stranger's sweat and I didn't want to know what else.

Relieved, I started walking in the direction I thought the item would be in. Barely ten steps in, I felt like I was being watched. I ignored the feeling and kept going. Why all of a sudden was I getting this paranoid feeling? Did it have anything to do with Josh? Maybe I was subconsciously worried he'd pop out of some place and try to hurt me again.