If You Love Me

Chapter 9

"Do you maybe want to talk about it? I've got a few minutes to listen."

I looked at Devin, slightly surprised at his offer. Was this something I could even tell anyone, let alone a guy I only recently met?

As I debated this in my head, Devin sat on the ground next to me. "What are you doing?" I asked.

He shrugged. "It looked like you were going to say yes." He pulled his knees up and rested his head on them, looking at me. "Well?"

My heart threw in a few extra beats when he did that. I looked at his car so I wouldn't have to see him. "I went to school today and it turns out everyone on campus knows he was arrested."

Even without looking at him, I somehow knew this kind virtual stranger was furrowing his brow. "But the news broadcast it, right? You knew they were going to find out."

I sighed. "Well, of course, but they also knew he'd been..." I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. That just made me feel the shame all over again. I pressed my face into my knees.

We sat in silence for a long moment. "I know someone who had been a victim of domestic abuse. She's a really sweet person. For as long as I've known her, she's always seemed to be this infallible person who could do anything and everything. Yet, she was a victim." I heard a scuffle next to me an looked up. He was standing over me, holding out a hand to help me up. I accepted and, once I was also standing, our eyes met. "Jessie, being a victim doesn't mean you're weak. It doesn't mean you weren't strong enough. It means that someone was evil enough to trick you and then to kick you. I could never fault anyone for being a victim. Especially not you."

I was tearing up again. How did he somehow know just the right thing to say? "Who was she?"

He smiled and shook his head. "The important thing is that I don't see any of it as your fault. You were friends with him, right?" I nodded. "You thought you knew his truth, but he lied in the end. He lied to a lot of people. They're all just finding out how deep his sins ran. Give it some time and things will quiet down. You'll see. I just wish I could help you more."

I shook my head. "You've already done a lot for me. Thank you."

He smiled at me, but I noticed right away it didn't quite reach his eyes. "My pleasure." He looked down and then glanced at his car. "I need to be getting back. Would you like my phone number?"

"Oh, um. Sure." I pulled out my phone and typed in the numbers. After saving it, we went our separate ways.

Why did he always seem to make me feel better? And why did the words I tried to tell myself feel more convincing when coming from his mouth?

I looked at his contact again. Devin Williams. It was a nice name. It fit him somehow. Devin.

Just seeing it there made me happy. I'd finally made a new friend. I hadn't done that in so long. Surely Kolleen would be proud of me.

---

"Great," I muttered under my breath. My mom was calling me. I slid my phone to the other side of the table. Kolleen looked up from her homework. "I'm not answering," I told her.

"Well I'm not either." She slid it back over to me. "It's your mother. I mean, I love her and all, but what she's calling about isn't something for me to explain."

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. "I know you're right, but I can't talk to her about anything right now. I want time to process it myself. It doesn't feel real yet." The ringing stopped and I relaxed. "I just want some time."