If You Love Me

Chapter 7

I sighed as I changed the channel on the TV. Since when did I lose interest in so many shows? I turned the TV off. Josh never really let me watch the TV in the common room. If I was honest, I didn't know a lot about what movies were showing or were going to be coming out. It was mostly due to him, too.

Josh.

I said I hated him.

His eyes.

It was only last night that all of that happened, and I had known something like this was bound to happen one day. I thought I'd been more mentally prepared than this. I thought I'd be able to handle losing him.

Then there was what happened with the officer.

I covered my face with my hands. I practically crushed the poor guy. On top of that, I'm sure I got snot all over the shoulder of his uniform. When I calmed down enough to think about where I was, what I was doing, and who it was, I had released him and apologized profusely. I was so embarrassed.

Honestly, I didn't want to see him ever again.

I checked the time on my phone. About time for lunch. I sighed and sat my phone on the back of the sofa. I wasn't hungry, but I knew I should eat. It was one of the most basic things as far as self-care went.

As I got up, someone knocked on the door. Confused but wary, I padded over silently to look out the peephole. I sucked in a breath as I recognized Officer Williams. I smoothed down my hair and made sure the chain was connected. With a final deep breath, I opened the door. "Can I help you, officer?"

He smiled at me. "I'm just following up and checking to make sure you're okay."

I vaguely remembered him saying he'd stop by, but I didn't think he was serious. "Really?"

He nodded. "May I come in, ma'am?"

I undid the chain and let him step past me. "Are you on duty right now?"

He glanced down at his uniform. "Uh, yes." I could hear the lie in his voice and it put me on edge. He noticed and flashed me a reassuring smile. "I really do work today, don't worry."

I closed the door, but I left it unlocked. "Go ahead and have a seat. Can I get you some coffee or some water? I also have some snacks."

"Water is fine," he said as he sat at the table. "I saw in your police report that you've been going through a lot lately."

I fumbled with the empty glass in my hand, thankful it was made of plastic. "You could say that," I said, my voice shaking slightly. I felt his eyes on me, but when I turned around he was actually looking at his hat he'd sat on the table.

"Thank you," he said as he took the water from me. He sipped at it, glancing at me. "How are you doing? Last night was pretty hard on you."

I wished I had something to do with my hands. I was being put on the spot. "Officer Williams, let me be honest. I don't know why you're asking these questions or what you're hoping to find out."

He nodded. "That's fair. Well, I'm mainly checking up on your mental health. For most people, what went down would be a little traumatic. I'm making sure you're not going to be a threat to yourself or others."

I sighed. "I see where you're coming from, but surely 'therapist' isn't in your job description."

He raised an eyebrow and picked up his cap, pointing at it. "In this profession, ma'am, I wear many hats and this is just one." I couldn't help myself – I actually snorted. It wasn't quite a laugh, but it seemed to be enough to put us both at ease. Though, it was hard after that to not imagine a room full of various hats and him wearing them. "Besides, I've always been a good listener if you just need to vent."