If You Love Me

Chapter 6

By the time I reached the hospital, Kolleen was sleeping. They'd cleaned her head where she'd been hit. It didn't look like it had been shaved, so I let out a sigh of relief. If she didn't need stitches then it wasn't too bad. I sat in a chair by her bed, relieved.

The whole ride over, I'd racked my brain for what I should say. I wanted to ask her who did this to her, but I already knew who it was. There was only one person who'd target us like this. I felt guilty, even though I knew she wouldn't blame me for it. But it was still my fault. I was the one he was really after – she was just collateral damage.

I rubbed my face. Part of me wanted her to wake up while I was gone, and part of me hoped she'd wake up while I was here so I'd be forced to get the hardest part out of the way. I knew that, either way, I'd still have to say I was sorry. Sorry for getting mad at her and sorry for this happening. Sorry for everything.

"Jes?"

My hands dropped from my face and I met Kolleen's eyes. "You're awake."

She moaned and reached for her head. "Yeah. They said I'm fine and to rest. There's no bleeding, so I guess he didn't hit me as bad as I thought he did."

"Who hit you?"

She smiled at me. "There was a really nice officer here a little while ago that asked me the same thing. I told him – I'm not entirely sure. I never saw his face."

"What do you mean?"

"I was asleep on the couch. I didn't hear the window open. The next thing I knew I woke up to a door opening. I said your name as I was sitting up. I remember I was rubbing my eyes, and the next thing I knew you were there and I was on the floor. Was anything taken from our place?"

I shook my head. "I know it was Josh. Your room was untouched, but mine had been ransacked. I told the police nothing was taken, but he took something he gave me. I didn't want it, anyway."

Kolleen watched me with one eye, obviously sleepy. "You okay with that?"

I nodded. "Kolleen, I'm sorry," I blurted out.

Her brow furrowed. "Sorry about what?"

I shook my head. "A lot of things. I'm sorry I got mad at you yesterday. You were just trying to help me out. And I'm sorry this happened to you. It's all my fault."

She raised an eyebrow. "So you broke into your own apartment? Weirdo."

I looked at her, confused. "What?"

"Only apologize for what happened if you actually did it. This wasn't your fault. You didn't hit me over the head."

"I might as well have. It's my fault for not getting away from Josh sooner. He probably followed me home the other day, too."

She reached out her hand. I was sitting too far away, so I slid the chair closer. She pat my shoulder. "Jes, I want you to understand something, okay? I know you were scared of him. I get it. You didn't want people to know what was happening, and I get that too. You're my best friend, so you should know that I tend to go overboard when things involve people I care about. Don't just stop talking to me. Hit me on the arm and tell me to stop. That's what my mom always did, anyway. Okay? As for this being your fault, I want you to understand I don't see it that way at all."

"But it is!"

She shook her head. "I only fault people when their actions affect me directly. Like Josh hitting me over the head with something. I can only fault him. He decided to do that. He may have followed you home, but he was really after you, right? I happened to be there instead. I'm just glad it wasn't you he hit. He's done more than enough of that."