If You Love Me

Chapter 3

I winced when I stood. Fresh bruises were marking my stomach. I wasn't sure why he always felt like he had to do this sort of thing when I hadn't even done anything to deserve it. I'd stayed on campus. I'd stayed in my dorms. Yet he'd still hit me.

"Coming," I said through gritted teeth. Okay, so maybe hit wasn't the right word. More like kicked.

Kolleen just about danced her way into my room when I opened the door. "I got the pictures! It's so nice and the rent is reasonable." Her happiness seemed to taper off as she realized I was holding my stomach. "Um, Jes? You're not-"

My eyes widened. "No, absolutely not. Josh was just over earlier." I ducked my head, unwilling to meet her eyes. The fact she seemed to understand right away left me really embarrassed. "Anyway, you were saying about the apartment?" I made my way back to my bed and sat on the edge.

"Right, right." She pulled up pictures on her phone and held it up for me. "This is the place. I went to a couple of other places, but this one felt like the one. The place is pretty roomy compared to the dorms and we'd have some privacy, too. Apparently, all of the tenants were seniors and they all moved out right after graduation. They left behind a lot of trash and damage, so this is the only available unit for the time being. We wouldn't have to worry about neighbors throwing noisy parties. Also, the rent is cheap, it's all furnished, and most things are new."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Graduation was nearly six months ago. She's just now renting this unit out?" I doubted the landlady was being honest.

"Well, I mean, she had one other person rent it since it was finished, but she's been having problems with the people working on it. They messed up a lot and she's having someone fix what they left behind. It's taking a lot longer than it should have."

I nodded. I still wasn't sure about the story, but I couldn't deny it was nice place. When she told me the price, I couldn't deny it was doable. The pictures she'd taken showed the living room and the two bedrooms. "Where's the kitchen?"

Kolleen sighed. "It's about two feet of counters, a single cupboard, a hotplate, and an old fridge. Not worth writing home about."

I shook my head. "Well, what can you expect, I guess? Oh, well. I like the place and the price is right. If you want to, go ahead and tell her we want it."

"Will do!" She happily hopped up and called the landlady.

As I listened to her talk, I found myself lost in thoughts about Josh. I wasn't going to break up with him. I couldn't. But what else would he think when I told him I was going to move off-campus? I was going to go to a place where he wouldn't have as much access to me. I was pretty much going to be out of his reach most of the time.

The amount of relief I felt from that thought was overwhelming. I felt guilty for it, though. I loved him. Why would I be happy to not be around someone I'm in love with?

"It's all set," Kolleen said, ripping me out of my thoughts. "She says we can come by in a day or two and she'll have the lease agreement ready for us to sign."

I nodded. "Okay. I'll find some way to come with you."

Kolleen frowned and sat next to me. "Look. Jessie, you're my best friend. We've known each other since middle school. We've been through a lot together. I care about you. Josh knows that. Tell him you're just doing it for me because I need some moral support with the decision and that I'm too scared to live on my own. If you want to, tell him it's only for a couple of weeks, maybe a month, and you'll be back."

"But you're not scared to live on your own," I objected. "You love challenges and you're strong. He's not going to buy it. You're forgetting he's been our friend since freshman year of high school. He knows you too well to buy it."