TANK

33 (angst, plot)

Everything feels heavy as I blink awake. I flit my eyes around the room, assessing my surroundings. There's a moment where I feel okay, before I remember what happened last night and start to crash.

There's an ache in my chest as I look around, realizing I'm in bed, sandwiched between Nora and Sofia. I don't remember how I got here, and I don't want to remember what happened last night, but it's all I can think about.

I start to tremble from low in my chest, emotions bottoming out inside of me as I fight to hold onto a semblance of control. I might've fucked up the tiniest amount, but nothing close enough to warrant the way Tank acted last night. I know that.

Still, guilt pangs in my stomach. If I had just drank a little less, been able to walk myself inside, I'd probably be waking up in Tank's arms right now, happier than I've ever been. I exhale a wet breath, entire core shivering as I swing lower, lower, lower, absolutely gutted.

I steady myself with a deep breath.

This is not my fucking fault. I let myself lean into that emotion. He did this. Tank made the choices that led to where we are right now. If he had communicated with me in the slightest, or listened to what I was saying, we still could've been waking up today the way we should've been.

I drag a hand down my face, groaning as I continue on this emotional rollercoaster. I feel like I should've seen this coming. Tank was always possessive, and always lacking in his communication skills. No matter how glaringly obvious that was to me, I didn't expect this. Especially over something so fucking trivial.

I feel the pit in my stomach grow and drag in a few shallow breaths, surging forward to wrap my arms around Nora before I let myself fall into it. She stirs awake almost immediately, and sees my current state.

Nora's face twists into one of concern as she pulls me
into her chest, cradling me without a word. I don't realize exactly how much I need it until I'm there, and burst into a shaking sob that wracks my body.

Nora holds me through it, shushing me as I violently, wordlessly sob into her chest. I gasp for air as I fold into her chest and let my grief overtake me. I need this out of my system so I can fucking think.

I let myself go numb, and allow my brain to settle into that place of desperation. It hurts how hard I'm sobbing, throat gone completely tight as I almost soundlessly cry. Nora holds me through it all like a champ, until I can formulate words again.

I take a steadying breath and exhale, loosening my fingers where I have them gripped in Nora's shirt. "I don't remember you guys coming home last night." I mumble out.

Nora turns into me, cupping my face with both hands and pressing a kiss to my forehead. "I can tell you in a second. Are you okay?" She asks.

I shake my head no. "I'm fucking awful, actually." I say, then break into an awkward laugh, somewhat grounded in disbelief for the situation. I get a bit more serious, "I really need you to fill the blanks in for me here. What happened last night? There's a point where I know and a point where it goes black." I say.

Nora sighs, and squeezes my cheeks, squishing my face. "I came home from work at 4 am and I walked in and you were blackout drunk sobbing on the couch with some guy— Adrian maybe?— standing next to you freaking out. I don't know details but he told me you got in a fight with 'your boyfriend' and he flipped out— Tank I'm guessing?" She pauses and looks at me. I nod in confirmation.