𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧 𝐬𝐤𝐲

we hurt one another
beyond any repair
from another love.
yet I don't regret any of it.
I don't regret
falling in love when love
didn't have a name
and was just a feeling in the
bottom our stomachs.
But sometimes
I miss it.
I have to remind
myself what it felt like
before love was complicated.
I rewind the songs and relive
the walks in the hallways and the
sensation that tingled in my bones
whenever I saw your eyes.
They used to glow as
blue as the endless western sky.
I reread the notes and the
books trying to remember the way
it felt getting sunburnt at
baseball games in the July heat.
And then it circles back to you
again anyway.
When you would show up and
stand at the side of the fence
where I could see your
tall figure and smile
at the existence of you.
I can't even eat pizza without
remembering you
and the way you looked in
the dim light of that pizza shop.
I can still hear your words and
your laughter.
But when I sit down on my bed,
I'm not there anymore.
I'm at home where I have been
for several years now.
But your memory still floats around
my head like a repeated phrase
I wish I could forget.

written on: july 20th, 2020