𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

𝐠𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐬

it hurts a little less
the longer that i'm gone.
i sit in between
words and actions i wish i
had taken then
and the ones that i actually did.
in many ways it's a waste
to try remember you
yet i still try to.
the brown hair,
the crystallized eyes,
the funny hint of southern accent,
the way you showed up
at every party i ever attended
and the way that you
were there for me when i
needed you the most.
yet i was a complete fool.
i chased the sun
when I had the entire night sky
sitting beside me in
English classes and at assemblies.
when he skipped her birthday party and
i stood alone on the dance floor
with glow sticks embroidering my entire
figure,
you came to me aid and danced
with me.
and although i can't recall much i
do recall talking to you
and indulging in the passing minutes of
the cool october evening.
and i'm so sorry.
i'm sorry for taking advantage of
the moments that I had you.
i'm sorry that i left and regretful that i
had to make decisions that i shouldn't
have had to at thirteen.
they all led me to leaving you in
that mountain filled town with its
sunshine and warmth.
i'm sorry.
i miss you.
i love you.
but none of that cuts it.
and i wish it did.

written on: october 25th, 2020