𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐲𝐞𝐬

the branches of the trees
were twisted on that day.
i prefer not to recall it
because it brings me great sorrow.
he stood taller than i
in a haze of summer air.
his smile is one i
cherish even as i become the
age which he was all those
years ago.
i was stupid enough to believe
the boy with that smile
was in love with me beyond the walls
of a standard choir room.
the sun was setting behind
the apartment complexes and the field
which sat lonely at a perpendicular angle
to where my car was parked.
he slipped beneath the waves of purple
between the moment we
began our walk to the time when
we reached my car.
i believed he was standing there with me
and that his heart was completely involved
with my own.
yet i was naive and stupid
and lost in the forest of his eyes.
i believed someone who smoked
illegal substances and
spent more time flirting with other girls
than focusing on his future
could be forgiven time after
god forsaken time.
and I believed it thoroughly then
and especially
when he stood there
already millions of miles away
chasing another brunette girl.
but even though he was far gone,
he still leaned down
and passionately kissed me.
and i kissed him back as i always did.
that evening i lost my best friend.
while he was drunk on a sweet,
brunette liquid
he drove home alone.
and he died.
and i still blame myself.
and i still do not know why i bother.

written on: december 2nd, 2020
this is a work of mostly fiction