Erasure and Affirmation (Hypernaturals 11)

Why Won't Men Do The Right Thing?

A car pulled up. Lori. Home from work. She came in the front door which is odd, but I guess she saw Carol's car.

"Hey Carol! Wedding magazines? You planning your wedding? Big old traditional one?" Lori asked parking across from Carol at the table. I gave her a large glass of iced tea. Nurses need to hydrate.

"Thanks, Adrian." She sipped and sighed. A long day at work coming to an end at her home. I took a moment to secretly enjoy Lori's contentment. I love that our house is 'home base'.

Carol slid a magazine at Lori. She tapped the cover picture of a bride done up with flowers and standing under an arch also covered in flowers, heavily made-up and stitched into her dress, long flowing train of fabric visible behind her. "According to Adrian, men could give a shit about any of this. They only want you to say 'I Do', and then get to the wedding night activities as quickly as possible."

Since Carol is bringing me into it, I decided honesty is the best policy. I'm already married anyway. Three times, and never with any of that horseshit. "The wedding reception is a special form of torture designed by sadists to make men wait. You should take your vows, screw like newly married bunnies, perhaps in a large group as discussed before you arrived. Then, afterward, have the wedding reception to refuel and laugh and hug and recover. It is in the wrong order."

"My husband, the wedding planner." Jessica said in mock pride.

Lori nodded, "Actually, Jessica, I think that is right. Not that I have ever been married yet. I was talking about it once with this woman I was serious about. That type of wedding is what she wanted. Justice of the Peace wedding, get to the hotel as fast as we could. Screw for a few hours. Go out to eat. Repeat until exhausted. I liked it."

"It was HOURS from the wedding in the pool to the wedding bed at Morgan's wedding. Pure torture. That after years of waiting for Morgan. She said 'yes' and so I was done waiting... except I had to wait some more." I complained.

"What about the premarital sex in the deep end?" Jessica asked slyly.

"Pure. Torture." I said. "Just enough to drive anticipation through the roof and then have to wait all damn afternoon and evening."

"Then you BOTH let your control go, filled the room with his and hers matching 'fuck me' pheromones, Hyper flavor, and we went insane. I have no idea how that bed remained intact." Jessica said.

"There is that." I had to agree.

Lori flipped the pages, an odd expression on her face. Jessica asked her "Not to change the subject, Lori, but did Danny give you the test results?"

"No. He said that you said he had to make some changes to help us have a baby. As if I'm not a nurse, and don't know what it means when he throws out all his tighty whitey's, sits on cool packs with nothing on, and shivers. He never wears pants in our house anymore, and while you all are super comfortable with nudity, he has always been a bit more uptight about it. Now his junk is hanging out all the time. I may have to have that wedding orgy Adrian sort of described to get pregnant!"

"I see." Jessica did not look happy at that answer. "I asked Danny to SHOW you the test results, as I know you can read them, but they are his results, so I can't make him."

"Well, after the workup you gave me, between the pelvic, the ultrasound, and the Vampire boy IR anatomical scan, not to mention biochemical analysis via scent, which is not even a recognized medical test, it seems that I am a fertile yertile." Lori commented. Her tone was semi-complaining. It was understood that is because she is not the holdup.

"You are as fecund as they come, Lori. I am not sure why you don't get pregnant just standing near some of the people around here. By all reports, DeWayne is very able."

"Oh, he is." Carol agreed, smiling in that way where you know she is remembering an event.

Jessica nodded my way. "Adrian got Morgan pregnant completely outside protocol. Catalyst Vampire we now know. You have a wedding orgy, and you get with him? Be ready to have a kid."

Lori looked at me. "Plan B. If nothing else, I can threaten Danny with that."

Oh. Great. 'Nothing like being a cudgel' I thought.

"I wish I was free to openly discuss this." Jessica said. "I told Danny I would be glad to talk to you, but he did not want me to."

Lori gave that a bitter laugh. "This is why I like being with women. Danny is embarrassed. He is not a super macho guy other than his dark Latino good looks, but about this subject? His supposed virility? He is so fucking macho. Not to put too fine a point on this, but his best friend is a fertile Vampire super soaker, and he can't get me pregnant. Danny is depressed about it. Drives me insane."

"Ok. We'll fix this." Jessica said with determination. I recognize that tone of voice. Danny is in for it now. There is a much better cudgel about to be applied. Determined Jessica. Danny may not see it coming.

Lori understood that and grinned. "Oh, good!"