Erasure and Affirmation (Hypernaturals 11)

Responsibility

Since I first brought Jessica home to Casa de Gato, our shower has been a place of love and peace and healing. People talk about being in their 'Happy Place' and most of the time that is a reference to a frame of mind. Sometimes to a bowl of Ice Cream. The shower is a very literal happy place. 

This special place is where I have made love to my love. Here I have recently seen a new Vampire, Vera, reassure her love what just because she was new and different, her feelings for Angel did not change when her genes were updated. Here is where we go when a person will need reassurance. Shower of love. Of comfort. Of joy. Sure: It's carnal, and it's hedonistic, and it's incredibly self-indulgent. Vampire life is not easy sometimes, so having this retreat has turned out to be more. It is also required.

At a Conclave, they have hot tubs. In the hot tubs, Vampires float around and tell each other stories. They hook up, for sure. People that are down on sex and get all moralistic about is never understand why people need it. It's not all about Carnal. It is far bigger and more basic than that. At the same time, the shower that the house elevates what goes on at a Conclave to a much more personal level. This is family. This is where we go to hold and love each other.

I understood Angel's fear about Vera. The mind/body connection is powerful. Vera gave herself the injections in part because she wanted the physical change they would provide her. She wanted to be less Siren. I don't think I understood the depth of her self hatred about that before she did it.

Vera blames her Siren-ness for how she lost our relationship, and that is not wrong. In fact, if I was still human, I would probably not be as Angel is: I likely could not deal with Vera's needs as Angel does. Angel hunts for Vera. She makes sure she fills Vera's world with fulfillment of her physical needs. Something I was totally shit at.

I could do better now, but that is because I have changed. I have learned about how to love more than one person at once. To not feel bad because I love Jessica no less for also loving Morgan and Helen.

Sometimes things like that are 'You had to be there' points of view. As a human, I would have been happy being with one woman for the rest of my brief life. When I met Jessica, I was 29. A third of the way through my human lifespan more than likely. Jessica's VMC had other plans for me.

That one-woman I dedicated myself to could have been a human Jessica or a human Morgan. Hard to see me with Helen that way, if I am honest. Helen and I work in the context of Vampirism: I am not sure I would have dealt well with her many needs any more than Vera's, as a human.

I sure as hell would have had trouble back when Helen was born dealing with her high-born self. She would have hated me for sure.

My latest problem child is Denise. Here, in the shower of Love, I am holding her in my arms, and just holding her. We have been here before, in the sense of being in the shower together. We have done flirty things. Pushed the limits of two people planning on being married in the never defined 'someday'.

Denise has been dealing with some shit. The Siren's that guarded Ginger were brought to her. She jailed them. There were six in all. The crew got five during the rescue of Ginger from the Siren Prison over in Houston. The Assembly, living in fear of Victoria, made sure the other six were brought to Denise.

Denise had a problem in that Sandy was in her jail. She only has one: Crew really don't use jails all that often.

So Sandy was taken to a private cabin and guarded. The Sirens were tossed into the confinement of the Vampire-proof jail. Sandy enjoyed getting out. New scenery. The Sirens did not enjoy having the tables turned. The jailers becoming the jailed.

Denise had to decide what to do. It was an ugly scene. I was there. I had to be. So was Helen, Morgan, and Jessica. Luciana and Anne were also there to support their leader. The condemned were taken to the woods. We made one Siren witness. Amber. She was to report back to the Assembly what happened here. It does no good to do this if the Sirens do not know it really happened.